Saturday, March 5, 2011

For Ronnie

Dear Ronnie,

Thank you for sharing your difficult situation. The wise readers of this blog have spoken. And your options are laid out on you. It is difficult to continue with a relationship when trust is compromised. But is a 15 year relationship worth saving? Definitely. But only if your partner is willing to be honest with you.

I wish you happiness in whichever option you decide to take.



david m. said...


i agree with lex that a 15 year relationship is worth saving provided both of you want to save it. having been with my partner for 18 years, i speak from experience and from the heart.

however, one cannot sustain a one-on-one committed "live together"relationship if both parties permanently reside in 2 different countries on 2 different continents, unless your job brings you back and forth on a regular and frequent basis. even then, it would be a strain.

you also have to look at your employment situation and your long term financial future. unless you are financially independent, quitting your job and running back to PH just so you can remain partners will only cause you anguish and regret down the road.

after 15 years together, you have a long history and you will probably always be a part of each other in some special way but it ain't gonna be like the old days, that is for sure.

in time you may even find your way back to each other. however, it may be a wiser decision to focus on the future and get on with your life.

much good luck!

ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ said...

a relationship is worth saving if two people are developing themselves and the relationship aids that development. on this basis, years together is generally irrelevant except to prove that, in fact, the relationship interferences with the individual's personal growth and development.

Lalaking Palaban said...

Trust is the basic foundation of any relationship. Without it, there is no relationship at all. Nagiging pera pera na lang.

I understand ronnie's reason why he is hesitant to end it.

Ronnie should understand that the 15years of relationship has already ended. And he has to accept it. He has to be brave to face the consequences, else he will be suffering forever.

And with that, I leave one of my Paolo Coehlo's lines:

"One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished."