Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Gay Rights

In the recent Pride March, Danton Remoto introduced the Yogyakarta Principles, an outline of rights declared to protect gay men like us.

Their official website has this introductory paragraph.

"In 2006, in response to well-documented patterns of abuse, a distinguished group of international human rights experts met in Yogyakarta, Indonesia to outline a set of international principles relating to sexual orientation and gender identity. The result was the Yogyakarta Principles: a universal guide to human rights which affirm binding international legal standards with which all States must comply. They promise a different future where all people born free and equal in dignity and rights can fulfil that precious birthright."

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Bacardi Boys

In the Pride March of 2008 in Malate, I was amused by a large group of young gay men, all in black. They called themselves the Bacardi Boys. This group of teenagers and early “twentysomethings” met at the popular gay website in the Philippines, and have been meeting regularly at a coffee shop in Araneta Center, Cubao every weekends.

Aside from their weekly hangouts, the group also does social works like feeding some poor children in a charity institution. (just like beauty queens!)

Monday, December 29, 2008


Why do many players in the gay hook up scene play around with labels – “straight curious”, “bi-curious”, “straight tripper” and all permutations of “call-me-anything-except-gay-man”?

Isn’t this just a sign that we actually dislike our own selves?

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Pope is Anti-Gay

Here's a highly charged email I have read from Mr. Ronald Gue against that statement from that "very holy" Pope:

"I know it is Christmas, and what I should be spreading is peace, happiness, and love, but since this religious occasion has been tainted by no other than the Pope himself with an ill-informed speech delivered on this wonderful time of giving and forgiving, all my Christmas cheer has been wasted. Sadly, the Pope has ruined Christmas.

I am sure you have heard it or read it on the news by now. The unloved leader of the Catholic Church has bashed gender theories and trashed the homosexuals in an unforgiving and un-understanding manner.

The Pontiff has said that gender theories “blur the distinction between males and females.” People, I don’t have any connections with the Vatican , so if anyone of you knows any of the advisers of this Pope, please do tell them to update themselves and read up on the world around them. The sad thing about this Church is that it keeps on meddling on the affairs of the society, and claims to be its keeper, when the only issue about society at large they seem to ever know about is “poverty” (fine, and corruption daw!). I mean, come on! While poverty remains to be a big problem, it is not THE ONLY problem of this world. In fact, even if it were indeed the only problem in the world, how can this Pope wear designers’ shoes and live comfortably in a palace, while claiming from atop his pedestal, “Rainforests deserve, yes, our protection, but the human being ... does not deserve it less.”

Going back to the issue, if only Pope Benedict had done his homework and read up on gender theories and everything that has been written on it, he would have known that the distinction between the males and the females remains, with or without gender theories. Last time I checked, dicks still remain to be largely males’ and vaginas females’. His ignorance lies in the fact that he thinks that “human nature as 'man' or woman'" is “metaphysical.” Talk about someone with social awareness! Nobody even claims that it’s “out-of-date metaphysics”! Gender theories claim that it’s an out-of-date IDEOLOGY. There is nothing metaphysical about ideology. It exists – or plays – in reality and dominates it, too (not to mention that the males once wore high heels, too!).

And if he claims that the blurring of this ideology is a danger to human race, then why doesn’t the wise Pontiff explain what is thus best for the human race, mass production of the humans? Or maybe they would like to twist the miracle of life as a reason for all mankind to procreate incessantly, until everyone dies of hunger, poverty, infections, and many others. Well, if the point against homosexuality is its direction against the natural order of procreation, then why does the very intellectual Pope ignore the fact that the Priests are STOPPED from procreating as well? What then is the use of their God-given sperm cells, for spilling over during their curiously undocumented wet dreams?

The point is the Pope has forgotten that the gays, the lesbians, the women – people who are the main concerns of Gender theories – are part of what he claims to protect, i.e. human race. If and only if the Pope had decided to open his eyes finally to the truths of the society, he would see how a lot of these forgotten-that- they’re-humans- too are actually better looking and are actually more productive in the society than he. And the only threat to the human race that I can think of are violence (homophobia IS violence), idiocy (like close-mindedness and/or Papacy), and diseases (AIDS is not because of homosexuality but because of unprotected sex. Oh! That’s right! The Church is against such protection!) . And for those who have connections with the Vatican , please ask them what they mean when they dichotomize “homosexuality” and “homosexual acts” and say that “Homosexuality is ok but homosexual acts are not.” When is homosexual act disconnected from homosexuality and vice-versa? But never mind. Just ask them for the sake of rhetoric because unlike the Pope, we have done our homework. And we are not the ones who have actually put the human race in peril by praying over the bubonic plague victims while burning the witches who have found the cure, killed thousands of heretics pointlessly, conquered beautiful cultures for conversion, and promoted hatred by labeling the men as men and the others as dangers to the human race. It’s all past, but not paid for. You continue to blame Adam for an imagined sin, why should we stop bringing up your real ones? So while the Pope’s elves are busying wrapping up more excuses for future holidays, may we humbly beseech him, the Father of the much sullied Catholic Church, to remain silent so as to save the future Popes from having more reasons to say they’re sorry."

My plea to all gay Catholics, could you do someting about your leader?

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Gays Against Pope's Statements

GAY rights campaigners in Britain have hit out at controversial comments by Pope Benedict XVI, accusing him of homophobia and saying his remarks encouraged attacks on gay people.

In his end-of-year speech at the Vatican, the Pope denounced gender theory, saying it blurred the distinction between male and female, and called for "an ecology of the human being" to protect mankind "from his own destruction".

Campaigners including some priests from the Church of England have taken this as an attack on homosexuality. Reverend Sharon Ferguson, chief executive of the Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement, said the Catholic leader's comments were "totally irresponsible and unacceptable in any shape or form.

"When you have religious leaders like that making that sort of statement, then followers feel they are justified in behaving in an aggressive and violent way because they feel that they are doing God's work in ridding the world of these people," she said.

Reverend Doctor Giles Fraser, president of pro-gay Anglican movement the Inclusive Church and vicar of a parish in London, said: "The Pope is spreading fear that gay people somehow threaten the planet. And that's just absurd.

"As always, this sort of religious homophobia will be an alibi for all those who would do gay people harm. Can't he think of something better to say at Christmas?" And rights campaigner Peter Tatchell said that the Pope had "lost his moral bearings" by choosing to focus on homosexuality instead of issues like hunger, war and homelessness.

Gender theory explores how society designates fixed roles to people based on their gender and many gay groups see it as helpful to improving tolerance and understanding. The Catholic Church has repeatedly spoken against it. (December 24, 2008 , Article from: Agence France-Presse )

Merry Christmas again to that very holy Pope!

Friday, December 26, 2008

Pope Denounces

VATICAN CITY -- Pope Benedict XVI denounced gender theory on Monday warning that it blurs the distinction between male and female and could thus lead to the “self-destruction” of the human race. When the Roman Catholic Church defends God’s Creation, “it does not only defend the earth, water and the air... but (it) also protects man from his own destruction,” the pope said in his end-of-year speech to the Vatican hierarchy.
Merry Christmas to the Pope!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Lex Bonife: A Conversation

I was honored to be interviewed by Victor Hoff, an American writer on sex and culture. Victor has been a contributor to Unzipped, Flavalife Magazine, The Sword and The Huffington Post as well as a featured blogger for Treasure Island Media (under the nom de guerre "The Pornographist") and Gawker Media's Fleshbot. Mr. Hoff routinely interviews some of the brightest and most colorful personalities in the Sex Industry which have included Chi Chi LaRue, Bobby Blake, Audacia Ray and many others.

Here's the opening paragraph on the article "Lex Bonife: A Conversation"

Despite our setbacks, it's hard for most gay Americans to appreciate the societal taboo that is homosexuality in most of the world. Outside of Western Europe, homosexuality can be seen as anything from Satan himself requiring nothing short of prompt execution to a peculiarity that, while tolerated, certainly isn't embraced. In the Philippines, an acutely Catholic nation, homosexuality is tolerated much more so than many other Asian nations but its citizens are granted few rights. In fact, this is the central paradigm about Filipino culture: homosexuals enjoy a degree of openness unheard of out side the Western Industrial base of Nations but they have the fewest rights. One right they do have - and seem to openly embrace it - is queer cinema.

And on the forefront of that movement is Lex Bonife, the screenwriter of the hits, "Ang Lalake sa parola" and "Ang Lihim ni Antonio" and "Kambyo." His first two movies deal with repression and sexually awakening and push the boundaries of moviemaking in blunt and sometimes uncomfortable terms. He makes the seduction of a fifteen-year-old a complex issue by erasing some of the borders that put reality on one side and shock and revulsion on the other. He writes scenes with full-frontal nudity and including fellatio, barebacking and masturbation and both gay and straight sex with a degree of realism that is jolting. I had the pleasure of speaking with him tonight for two hours. He's an unassuming, polite and puckish young man that is both confident and humble. We started off with a blast...

Extortionist Rent Boys

Many cases among gay men have been reported about rent boys ("call boys" as they are more popularly known in Manila) extort money from clients. They usually force the gay man to cough up thousands of pesos which is way a lot higher than what their real worth is after having performed the sexual service.

Most of these abusive rent boys would threaten gay men with a report to the local authorities. The ignorant gay men being afraid to be publicly exposed from such an act would rather give in to the financial demand of the "call boy/ kolboy"

Their first weapon against us is the threat of a "public shame" of being exposed as a gay man.

Here's what to do: communicate to this extortionist that everyone else in this world know that you are a gay man, and there is now way that you can be scandalized with such an issue. (on the other hand, if you are a discreet gay man, and is terribly afraid to be exposed for such, then you are just the perfect victim he has been looking for)

Their second threat usually involves calling the authorities and filing a case against you.

Here's what to say: What case? Having sex with an adult man who is obviously never forced into such an act is never a criminal case in our laws. Prostitution, on the other hand is illegal. You being a prostitute, forcing me to pay such an amount may be charged for such an act instead.

It's always safe to know our rights as gay men.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Gay Man's Beauty

On the gay dating scene, I have always wondered why there is so much focus on youth and beauty?

Gay Men sharing the same evolutionary traits with straight men are primarily visual when choosing their mates. Of course, there's no need to elaborate how straight men crave for big boobs, curvy shapes, clear skin, etc.

So put two men in a dating scene, then the emphasis for visual attraction doubles up.

It's just sad how these "visual factors" eclipses other important dating matters -- shared interests, sensible talk and other stuff that seems to be boring to so many young gay men I know.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Goals for Gay Dating

Why do gay men date?

Is it because we want to commit ourselves for a lifetime of partnership? Or do we want to build a family with adopted children? or perhaps, build a business or purchase real estate together?

Gay relationships have redefined partnership goals. We are too diverse to share one common goal hence, there's no one way that will serve every other relationships.

Here's a convenient decription from American writer Dave Singleton from his book the "Mandates" -- we date to "find the man who attracts you, sustain your interest, makes you as happy as you make him, and wants the same level of dating as you."

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Club Bath

Celebrating my first few days as a single gay man, I decided to visit again Club Bath, the iconic bath house right beside the Pasay City Hall.

The place is still very clean. The interiors, particularly the Christmas decors were quite delightful. And the bathroom at the second floor was very impressive. There were several foreign guests that night making me think, Club Bath is actually Manila's "Towel Club" (a popular bath house in Hongkong and Singapore).

And did I say there were a lot of men in there waiting to give you some delightful evening? But I'm not telling anything. As the poster inside the club says, "The Thrill is in the Silence"

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Gay Rights at UN

United Nations - An unprecedented declaration seeking to decriminalize homosexuality won the support of 66 countries in the United Nations General Assembly on Thursday, but opponents criticized it as an attempt to legitimize pedophilia and other “deplorable acts.”

The United States refused to support the nonbinding measure, as did Russia, China, the Roman Catholic Church and members of the Organization of the Islamic Conference. The Holy See’s observer mission issued a statement saying that the declaration “challenges existing human rights norms.”

The declaration, sponsored by France with broad support in Europe and Latin America, condemned human rights violations based on homophobia, saying such measures run counter to the universal declaration of human rights.

“How can we tolerate the fact that people are stoned, hanged, decapitated and tortured only because of their sexual orientation?” said Rama Yade, the French state secretary for human rights, noting that homosexuality is banned in nearly 80 countries and subject to the death penalty in at least six.

Read more at The New York Times

Friday, December 19, 2008

Breakup Survival

Emotionally, it's never easy to survive a breakup. Painful questions suddenly attack my consciousness in my moments of silence. Some tears are shed every now and then.

Suddenly for the past few weeks, I have bumped into men, that I have almost had relationship with. Seeing them happy made me feel sad of where I am right now. Did I make a wrong choice? Was my relationship a bad investment?

Feelings of inferiority confront me. Was I not worth it? And Why?

I have to admit promiscuity has been my aspirin for what seems to be a ceaseless internal pain within. And I have been going out with different men. Contorting my lean and flexible body to excellently deliver the sexual services, they crave me to do so.

Am I on the path of self destruction? I hope not. What I know is, after some time and after a certain number of men devouring me, I know, I'll get back to my old self.

For the mean time, allow me to share for the next few days, my escapades as a single gay man!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Golden Gays

Last Pride March 2008, I had a memorable conversation with gay icon and public servant, Pasay city councilor Justo Justo.
He told me about the many colorful lives of elderly gay men being supported by his foundation "Golden Gays". This facility houses poor gay men who could barely support themselves financially. And also serves as a support group for many other gay men living within the city.
Now, I have to admit I'm an irresponsible blogger-journalist. Mr. Justo gave me the contact number of "Golden Gays" just in case some of you might be interested to support our fellow gay men. But I lost the paper where I wrote his number.
I will post their number as soon as possible.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Bed Boys

My favorite float from the Pride March 2008 in Malate, Manila comes from one of the icons of gay night life in the Philippines -- Bed Bar.

The boys in their colorful masks gyrated with their hot bodies all throughout the parade. And their upbeat music was quite contagious making the whole parade really fun.

Thanks to the owners of Bed Bar in Malate. They contributed a lot in the success of Pride March 2008.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Day Without Gays

SAN FRANCISCO – Some same-sex marriage supporters are urging people to "call in gay" Wednesday to show how much the country relies on gays and lesbians, but others question whether it's wise to encourage skipping work given the nation's economic distress.

Organizers of "Day Without a Gay" — scheduled to coincide with International Human Rights Day and modeled after similar work stoppages by Latino immigrants — also are encouraging people to perform volunteer work and refrain from spending money.

Sean Hetherington, a West Hollywood comedian and personal trainer, dreamed up the idea with his boyfriend, Aaron Hartzler, after reading online that a few angry gay-rights activists were calling for a daylong strike to protest California voters' passage last month of Proposition 8, which reversed this year's state Supreme Court decision allowing gay marriage.

The couple thought it would be more effective and less divisive if people were asked to perform community service instead of staying home with their wallets shut. Dozens of nonprofit agencies, from the National Women's Law Center in Washington to a Methodist church in Fresno collecting food for the homeless, have posted opportunities for volunteers on the couple's Web site.

"We are all for a boycott if that is what brings about a sense of community for people," said Hetherington, 30, who plans to spend Wednesday volunteering at an inner-city school. "You can take away from the economy and give back in other ways."

Hetherington said he's been getting 100 e-mails an hour from people looking for volunteer opportunities, and that his "Day Without a Gay" Web site has gotten 100,000 hits since mid-November.

Despite Hartzler and Hetherington' s attempt to fashion a positive approach, some organizers of the street demonstrations that drew massive crowds in many cities last month have been reluctant to embrace the concept, saying that it could be at best impractical and at worst counterproductive to "call in gay."

"It's extra-challenging for people to think about taking off work as a form of protest, given that we are talking about people who may not be out (as gay) at work, and given the current economic situation and job market," said Jules Graves, 38, coordinator of the Colorado Queer Straight Alliance. "There is really not any assurance employers would appreciate it for what it is."

Graves' group nonetheless is arranging for interested participants to volunteer at the local African Community Center in Denver. The agency said it could find projects to keep 20 people busy, but so far only 10 have pledged to show up, said Graves.
Scott Craig, a fifth-grade teacher at Independence Charter School in Philadelphia, had no problem requesting and being granted the day off. So many of the school's 60 teachers were eager to show support for gay rights they had to make sure enough stayed behind to staff classrooms.

About 25 teachers plan to take Wednesday off and to have their work covered by substitutes while they discuss ways to introduce gay issues to their students and volunteer at the local branch of the American Civil Liberties Union, Craig said. A letter telling parents why so many teachers would be out went home Monday.

"We want to get the conversation going in the community that gay is not bad," Craig said. "For kids to hear that in a positive light can be life-changing. "

Join The Impact, the online community that launched protests last month over the passage of gay marriage bans in California, Florida and Arizona, has urged people to withdraw $80 from their bank accounts Wednesday to demonstrate gays' spending power, and to devote the time they might otherwise spend watching TV or surfing the Internet to volunteer work.
Witeck-Combs Communications, a public relations firm in Washington that specializes in the gay and lesbian market, published a study this year that estimated that gay and lesbian consumers spend $700 billion annually.

Bob Witeck, the firm's chief executive officer, said it would be difficult to measure the success of Wednesday's strike since gay employees occupy so many fields. And rather than suspending all consumer spending for the day, gay rights supporters would have a bigger impact if they devoted their dollars to gay-friendly businesses year-round, Witeck said.

"Our community leaders who are running book stores, newspapers, flower shops, coffee houses, bars and many, many other things are hurting right now, so paying attention to their needs during this hard time is an effective form of activism," he said.

Hetherington said he has been careful to design A Day Without a Gay — he came up with the name after the film "A Day Without a Mexican" and liked it because it rhymed — so no one feels excluded or threatened.

He has specifically urged high school students not to walk out of their classes and assured college students they won't be disloyal to the cause if they go ahead and take their final exams. He also has listed opportunities — ranging from writing letters to members of Congress about federal gay rights legislation to spreading the word about Wednesday on social networking sites — for gay marriage backers who cannot miss work.
On the Net:

(Lifted from an email from Carlo Valdez at the "Puri Titiwang Presents" Yahoo Group)

Monday, December 15, 2008

Boys of Bora

Another eye ctaching float from the Pride March 2008 is the group representing the "Boys of Bora Spa". They were a group of hot looking masseurs with some sexy trannies.

They were the only "massage parlor" among several establishments offering the same service for gay men who openly supported this important event.

The "Boys of Bora Spa" is located by the corner of Kamias st. and Sikatuna, Quezon City. You may also visit their website. Or call them at (632) 4330158 for inquiruies.

Having met these boys in person, I can't wait to have my massage from them!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Gay Mountaineers

Back to our scenes from the last pride march, a group of hunky gay men caught my attention. They call themselves "Guys4mountains". They were buff, well built and the kind of men I will always crave for.

They founded this group a few years ago through the website, one of the most popular gay social sites in the Philippines. And from then on, they have been climbing rocks and mountains all over the country.

I have been invited by some of their members to climb with them. But I've always had my apprehensions in joining because I don't have the proper gear for climbing. But having seen their founding members in the pride march, I realized I would just love to get lost in the wilderness with these hot men!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Pink Christmas

(Lifted from an email from Carlo Valdez of "puri titiwang presents" yahoo group:)

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands – A Dutch gay group said Monday it has planned a "Pink Christmas" festival for the first time in Amsterdam, featuring a manger stall with two Josephs and two Marys.

Other attractions in the 10-day festival include parties, an open-air market, gay-themed films, an ice skating rink and religious services on Dec. 25.

ProGay group chairman Frank van Dalen said Monday the event is intended to increase the choices for homosexual men and women during the Christmas holiday week.
"Right now, there's not much to do," he said.

The festival will also encourage people to think about homosexuality and religion, Van Dalen added.

Some Christian groups protested. The organization Christians for Truth said the idea "mocks the core concepts of Evangelism."

"By putting Joseph and Mary down as homosexuals, a cracked human fantasy is being tacked on to history from the Bible," the organization said in a statement urging the city and organizers to cancel the event.

The manger, with actors playing the parts of Joseph and Mary, goes on display Dec. 21.
Van Dalen said it was not intended to be offensive, but was meant as a "wink" at heterosexual assumptions.

"Christmas is about more than religion, it's also about love and families, not to mention shopping," he said. "Two men or two women can form a family too these days, even one with a child."

Gay marriage was legalized in the Netherlands in 2001, and adoption rules are the same here for gay or straight couples.

Van Dalen said the Pink Christmas initiative was also intended to help promote Amsterdam as a gay capital after a decline in its reputation in recent years.

A study last month found that homophobia is an ingrained problem in the city despite the Dutch reputation for tolerance, and physical attacks on gay men are a weekly affair.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Single, Professional & HIV Positive

Pinoy HIV/ AIDS Fact:

Ninety Percent of the newly infected cases of HIV cases are single -- mostly students and young professionals.

Be Aware. Be Safe.

(Source: Philippine Daily Inquirer)

Thursday, December 11, 2008

That Gay DJ

For the past few months, I have been noticing many cab drivers tuning to Mr. Fu of Energy FM. Now, what makes Mr. Fu unique on the FM platform is he is openly gay. And to my recollection, he is the only openly gay man on FM that many straight men listen to (particularly taxi drivers)

He flirts with his men callers. He blurts out "gay lingos". And he's proud of he's sexual role and preferences.

Mr. Fu's real name is Jeffrey Espiritu and he's a proud alumnus from UST.

You see, we have many gay radio personalities. But back then, they were all famous for showbiz and celebrity gossips (Tita Swarding, Ogie Diaz, etc.). And I don't see many taxi drivers tuning in to their programs.

In this perspectiove, Mr. Fu has definitely made a significant contribution in the advancement of the image of the gay men in this society bondaged by Christian prejudices against gay men.

As Mr. Fu often blurts out "May Ganoon?"

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


It’s official. The “Supreme Court of Relationships” has issued its decision on my one year and three month relationship, I and my former partner, JDG are now separated.

I am again, single.

Many dreams and hopes have also drained away as we have both decided to split up. For more than a month, my partner has displayed all the symptoms of a relationship about to go into comatose – cancelled dates with all kinds of excuses, cold treatment and incapacity to communicate.

And for that whole month, I have gone through the rounds of mourning over my dying relationship – anger (I have always thought of you as a good man), bitterness (I will curse your name until last my breath), rejection (go ahead, break up with me. Several other men just can’t wait to have me in bed!), loss of self esteem (Am I not worth it?) to thankfully, humble acceptance (Okay, I get it, you want to break up with me).

I have learned from yoga philosophy that when something is painful and it is beyond our control – don’t hold on, just let go!

And that’s exactly what I’m doing right now – learning to let go while reminding myself that I am single, stronger and “fucking desirable”!

Meet the Anti-Gays!

(Lex posing with the protesters)

At the Pride March 2008, It was my first time to see a demonstration against the LGBT lifestyle proclaiming "Gays are condemned to hell"
(Some of the protesters against gays. A reliable friend of mine told me that these ladies are just paid to join their protests)

It was lead by a white man who claims to be a preacher with his some other foreigners and a few peasant supporters. I remember one black man, pretending to vomit when we started our parade. One of the white man's shirt read "(GAY) Got AIDS Yet?" They were yelling at us to repent as gay life and all its permutations are bound for eternal damnation.

(Some lesbian demonstrators flocked the preacher and posed with them to mock their very existence)

At first, there was silence betweeen the gays gathering and the protesters. But the silly me, began to create a commotion when I started posing in front of these protesters to the delight of the media. This started a shouting match among some gay men and the protesters.

What a scene!

And I just remember yelling at the preacher, "I will repent, if you show me your God!"

Monday, December 8, 2008

Gay & Proud

Yesterday was my first time to attend the pride march in costume. Although, I have participated in this gay event for the past few years, it was just this year that I had the guts to show the world how I proud I am of my sexuality.

From Fitness First Robinsons Malate, where I changed into my costume and "freshened" up, I walked towards Orosa, receiving cat calls and curious stares from everyone. And boy, was it fun!

The event was so colorful, meeting all the different sectors of the gay population. Many more posts about the pride march are about to come!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Envying Gay Men

I was talking to a a straight guy, who was known in my circle to be a womanizer. And he admitted one interesting thing: he envies gay men.

He envies gay men who sleep around with different partners and are not afraid from the social repercussions of their behavior. He claims that unlike in his situation where he has to be very discreet about his sexual relationship with several women at the same time, gay men are practically free to sleep around with each other.

It's the first time for me to hear a straight men confessing how he envies the gay lifestyle. And it reminds me, times have changed.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

HIV Increase from Gay Sex

Pinoy HIV/ AIDS Fact:

For the first time in 2007, homosexual and bisexual modes of transmission has surpassed heterosexual transmission in the Philippines.

And the most affected age group among males is the 20-29 years old.

Be Aware. Be Safe.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Sex Club Question

When one hooks up inside a sex club (bath house, blue bar), and you decide to make a chit chat with your conquest, one of the most common questions that will be surely asked is "Lagi ka Dito?" (Do you frequent this place?)

If you say yes, you risk being judged by the other person as a sex-crazed freak (Read: high risk for STD) and not a good date material. If you say no, the other person could accuse you of lying just to come up with a good image of oneself (read: echosera!)

And everytime I get this question, my answer is: "hindi! paminsan-minsan lang. mga every other day lang" (No, I don't. I just come here every other day).

This paradoxical answer usually illicits a smile from the other person making him not pursue this very tricky question anymore.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Let's March!

Whether you are gay, bisexual, "discreet", "tripper" or even "straight curious", be proud of who you are and march with hundreds of other gay men, lesbians, transexuals, queers and intersex with what is planned to be the biggest Pride March of our country.

It is the tenth year celebration of the March and more and more Filipinos nowadays are just damn proud to be queer.

See you on December 6 at Malate, Manila.

Visit for details.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Old Man's Blow Job

Here's an appeal to young gay men out there, when cruising around whether in sex clubs, parks, cinemas or even gyms, sometimes, just sometime, at least be considerate. Why not allow that nice, old gay man to suck your cock?

I'm 28. And in a few years, I'm categorically old in the standards of gay men in Manila. And I'm beginning to see the whole world with eyes of an older gay man.

You see, young man, you will inevitably grow old as well. Wrinkles will show up in spite of your diligence in your moisturizer and sunblock routine. Your tummy remains a bit big despite of hundreds of crunches and other daily abdominal work (it's the metabolism, getting slower!).

In short, I repeat, you will grow old. And when you grow old, you'd like the younger generation to be "generous" to you as well.

Share that cock!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Friends with HIV/ AIDS

December 1 is World Aids Day. And in today's post, I would like to give honor to all the people I have met who are "pusit" (the colloquial term for HIV positive individual).

The status of Filipinos with HIV/ AIDS have changed tremendously. From ignorant and dark ages of the 80's, to the sensationalized cases of the 90's up to hopeful new century, the lives of Filipinos with HIV/ AIDS have become much better.

One of my good friends whose immune system just collapsed and was confined at San Lazaro Hospital for about two months was given proper support by the hospital. He was surprised to learn that he barely has to pay for his bills.

But despite of the government support and the information drive, it is sad that I still meet many young gay men who are oblivious to the threat of HIV/ AIDS. Bareback orgies still exist among them.

To all my friends afflicted with HIV/ AIDS. I am with you. Living one day at a time, makes life much sweeter.

Sunday, November 30, 2008


Yul Servo stars in Dose

Debuting director and acclaimed screenwriter Senedy Que's film "Dose" will be shown at Robinsons Galleria this coming week.

Dose is about the unlikely friendship that develops between a curious 12-year-old boy (Edy, an unloved child played by Fritz Chavez) and a lonely gardener (Danny, played by Yul Servo), where the line that defines love and abuse blurs, resulting in a touching, yet disturbing, relationship that defies age and gender.

Playing the grown-up Edy is Emilio Garcia who is 40, a filmmaker. Ray An Dulay is Bobby, Edy’s current boyfriend. Irma Adlawan is Helen, the aunt that takes care of Edy. Arlene Tolibas is Pilay, the maid. Alessandra de Rossi has a special participation.

Screening schedule at Robinsons Galleria is Dec 3, 7pm; Dec 4, 2pm; Dec 5, 10pm; Dec 6, 830pm

Refusing Gay Sex

Anthony, a student from UP Cebu doing a thesis on the films I have written "Ang Lihim ni Antonio" (Antonio's Secret) and "Ang Lalake sa Parola" (The Man in the Lighthouse) confronted me with a very sharp question, which I found myself a bit difficult to answer.

He asked me, why is that in both of the films, the main characters had to refuse a particular gay sexual act -- Antonio vehemently refusing anal sex and Mateo refusing to suck the character Jerome's dick -- both incidents led to the climax of the stories.

It made me think. Is it because I believe that appreciating complete gay sex takes time for a gay man? For a gay man, who is just starting to appreciate man-to-man sex, immediately sucking a dick or getting fucked, may not be very easy to achieve. To my experience and to many other people I know, this holds true.

Sexuality is so diverse, that it's difficult to pin down a behavior and proclaim it as true for everyone else. Hence, I know I could be wrong as well.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Happy Gay Life

In the past few weeks, I have been reading articles on actor Jon Santos and how he describes his domestic partneship with a foreign guy. His semi-retirement in the entertainment industry was spent building a partnership and a home with his male partner.

I think this is a very positive news for the gay community. This is a strong message for everyone that being gay isn't just about hook ups, parties and renting sexual services.

A mature, happy and mutually satifying gay partnership is a reality. And representations of such must be supported by media if we want to promote a positive image of homosexuality in our Catholic-bondaged society,

Friday, November 28, 2008

Erotic Stories

When I was young, I have been a secret avid reader of Xerex Xaviera's column in Abante Tonite. Most of my earliest knowledge in sex came from this very popular column. My phallus could still recall several memorable stories from this lowly yet, revolutionary tabloid.

Let me share with you an interesting Pinoy blog site dedicated to gay erotica. Visit Mga Kuwento ni Big Boy

Happy reading!

Thursday, November 27, 2008


Outrage Magazine is the first online publication for the Filipino gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer and intersex community that aims to be the complete sourcebook for everyone queer.

What I like about this site is the variety of their articles from sexuality all the way to travels, night life and even home decorations which I am very much into for the past few weeks.

Outrage mag is just one of those rare, sensible Pinoy gay sites I have ever found.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Beach Boys of Villamar

My friend brought me to a not-so-secret gay hideaway somewhere south of Manila. It’s Villamar beach resort, which has been quite famous for hook ups with rent boys.

Many boys here come to hang out expecting to meet some gay men who would willingly pay for an amount for at least Php200 (about USD5) in exchange for a sexual service. And boys here come in all ages and sizes – from the illegally young ones to the fresh meat in his 20’s, they are all game for some hot, beach fun!

The beach here isn’t exactly nice. Visit on a Saturday night and you’ll be surprised with hoards of boys and men.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Women's Right?

Riding the Metro Train, I am bothered to notice some women who demand that they be given a special treatment just because they belong to the child bearing sex.

I have encountered women pushing me expecting me to give way to them. I have suffered from women sneering at me every time they feel they are being squeezed inside a jam packed train.

The first car of the train is reserved women and the “special population” – disabled, senior citizens, etc. And that’s aside from the fact that equality among the sexes is recognized in our country. We’ve had two women for presidents, for goodness sake.

With all these facts, I wonder why many women still demand for a special privilege from “gentle men”?

Monday, November 24, 2008

A Muscled Gay Life

Book author Louie Cano is one of my favorite chit chat buddy over the dumb bells and bench press of Fitness First. His latest work "Masculadoll: Mga Sanaysay ng Buhay Bading na di Buking" is his first work that I have ever read. And I must say it brought me to fits of laughter for the past two days.

His colorful and flamboyant account as a muscled gay man dancing on the ledge of Bed Bar, hooking up with different men from the "discreet" to the "rent" boys, breaking his heart with an arrogantly imbecile man, and remembering his juvenile affair with his cute classmate makes me appreciate the rich diversity of life as a gay man through the lens of an irreverent humor.

Congratulations, Louie for "Masculadoll".

Sunday, November 23, 2008


We are all "echoseras", as claimed by my friend, event organizer Bien Rivera. In his interesting observation, Filipino gay men are masters of "echos", which is a gay term that refers to a silly claim or foolish talk.

According to Bien, because as young gay men living in a Christianly conservative society, we have learned to live double lives -- create lies about ourselves and sometimes pretend to be someone whom we're actually not all in the name of conforming to our "macho-centric" society.

"echos" isn't exactly bad although it is quite far from the truth. It usually is fun and does not pose a real danger unlike a deceptive lie.

And because of this observation, I now understand why I, along with other gay friends are true blue "echoseras".

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Loving Antonio

Here are more letters for Lexuality:

Sobrang naka-relate ako sa movie na “Lihim ni Antonio”I was moved…touched and amazed on how close the movie is in real life!!
I am one of those people who are like Antonio…gay but not out.
I feel like I am him…
Nagkaroon din ako ng kaibigan na nakagalit ko din…parang si Nathan… hehehe
Naninilip din ako sa banyo…hahaha
Nilalanghap ko ang manilaw nilaw na brief ng roommate ko…
At higit sa lahat, tinatanong ko rin sarili ko…kung ano purpose ko dito sa mundo…
Naramdaman ko ang lungkot na nararamdaman ni Antonio sa movie…I love it very very much.
Thanks to all the people who made this movie. All the actors are great…
I love Uncle Jo, I love Antonio…but most of all I love Nathan!! where the hell is he??
Love you guys!!
Please if you are planning of writing another movie, please inform me through my email…
I am interested in working with you guys!!



Hi Leprichaun1982

Thanks for dropping a note. Nathan, I believe still dances for GMA7 shows.


Lex Bonife,

I just saw your film Antonio’s Secret. What a wonderful film. I live in Los Angeles, California and am staying in Pampanga. Because of you I am really falling in love with Philippine gay cinema.

All the best,

Patrick Kelley

Los Angeles, California

Angeles City, Philippines


Thanks Patrick,

I'm glad that I am able to contribute in your appreciation with Philippine gay cinema. I love this genre as well.


Thursday, November 20, 2008

Danton's Rampa

Danton Remoto

One of my most admired Filipino gay writers Danton Remoto is launching his new book "Rampa: Mga Sanaysay". I have always admired Danton for academic yet, accessible perspectives on gay life and society. One of his earliest books, "X Factor: Tales Outside the Closet", was a "guiding light" on how to go about with my adult gay life.

The launch of "Rampa: Mga Sanaysay" will be on Novenber 22 (Sat) at Powerbooks, Greenbelt 4, Makati.

I'm looking forward to read these queer essays only a Danton Remoto could write.

Gay Taytay

For a gay man, Taytay rocks! I remember cruising around Taytay with my local friends and I was surprised to realize that men are very friendly to gays in that place. And mind you, we were far from being discreet because when I was with my friends, we were loud, out and proud.

In the different areas of Taytay that we drove around in, along the main highway, along the main "plaza" near the church as well as the narrow side streets, men flocked to us. They join us for a joyride. They join us for a drink or two. And the word "fun" to describe these moments is such an understatement.

How I wish I could bring back those "fun" Taytay memories!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Paul Dances

Paul Guesande in the late 90's was the "dancing god" among the male strip bars in Quezon city. His face is angelic, his moves are mesmerizing and the size of his genitals was notable among the patrons of this time. I was too young then to enter these establishments so I never had the chance to witness his spectacle every week.

He was the most famous among his contemporaries. He even appeared in a few coffee table books in his naked glory.

Now, he still dances. Not as a stripper. But as a dance workout instructor in one of the biggest chain of health clubs in the country. His face is still angelic. And his moves could still keep you hot and panting.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Stick to Cocks!

I have a friend who once worked as a Guest Relations Officer in a Men's Entertainment Bar. In this work, she met her husband who after a few years turned out to be gay. They are now separated and her former hubbie now has a male partner.

Now, it makes me think. Did the husband marry her a few years back only to conveniently conceal his real sexual preference? Come to think of it, marrying a GRO from a night club was less complicated than marrying a woman coming from the same background as yours.

Of course, I never shared this conjecture to my friend, who is now very devastated from the breakup.

For other gay men thinking of doing the same stuff, please think again. If you like cocks, stick to it. Building a "straight" family could be more complicated than you think it is.

Monday, November 17, 2008

"Bayas" Bar

In the early years of 2000, when gas prices were still about 20 pesos per liter, I drive to Taytay, Rizal every weekends to meet up with my gay friends in the area.

Tucked in this quiet town is a small, unassuming strip bar for gay men called "Bayas". It's an interesting name because, this term, bayas in gay lingo, also means, to masturbate.

The entrance fee is Php50. And drinks for your man is just about Php150. Now, what's really interesting here, is that buying drinks for men entitles you to touch their "thingies" or even give them a quick oral sex if you are as adventurous as some of my friends are!

Another interesting fact about this bar, is that it is also frequented more by women, whose husbands are working abroad. Many women here buy their favorite strippers their own motorcycles, so they can always enjoy a bumpy ride with them every night!

Remembering those hot boys of "Bayas", just makes me want to do, bayas! hehehe!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Remembering Anton Bernardo

I came across this awesome picture of 90's sexy actor Anton Bernardo at manilagayguy, and I can't help but remember him when I first met him on the set of the past TV show "Subic Bay".

"Subic Bay" was a sexy series starring Joyce Jimenez, Troy Montero, Ruffa Mae Quinto and Priscilla Almeda.

It was such a memorable shoot staying in Subic with good looking actors and about forty bikini models as extras parading almost naked all thorughout the day. Sex was practically everywhere among the talents and the visitors on the set.

Anton Bernardo became a semi-regular talent on the show. And his "bulging" presence made me practically "speechless". He was adorable and karinyoso being extra sweet to gay men in the set.

He even brought his co-actor and friend Alyson VII on the set, bringing "happiness" to several female extras on the show.

Mr. Bernardo last appeared in the film "Torotot".

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Meeting the Proud Hunks



"Proud Hunks" is a category here in my blog where I feature sexy and attractive men who are out and proud of their sexuality. Except for Badong, I have never met all the other men featured as a proud hunk.

So, I was surprised to meet two of the proud hunks, Ken and Justin separately. Ken approached me while I was eating my brownies inside Fitness First Eastwood. He asked me if I was Lex. And he introduced himself as Ken, one of the men I featured here.

In another incident, while I was coming out from Abenson's at Shangri-la mall, a nice looking guy with a skin head was smiling at me. He turned out to be Justin.

Both guys were nice and are quite attractive in person.

Now, I can't wait to find our next proud hunk! Any volunteers?