Lost & Drained

My Partner is Cheating on Me (Part 3)

Here's the final installment of Ronnie's letter:

Some updates on my situation. (I hope I'm not imposing on you too much)

Since I already know the first name of the guy, I tried to do a file search on my partner's laptop last night (he lent me his laptop for me to use) and naturally nothing came up. But when I tried the "deep search" using the first name, I got deleted file names with the guy's last name attached. I then googled the full name and came up with the "linkedin" profile of the guy complete with the name of the company he works for. It also gave me a link to the guy"s friendster account (he has no FB and myspace, my partner has a searchable FB and MS account).

The guy is 27 yrs old (much younger than I am and like a son to my partner). I clicked on his friends list and I saw my partner's friendster account (my partner has the guy as the only friend and his friendster acct is not searchable, no wonder). I further clicked on the guy's photos (only the public one, he has 1 private album) and saw a boracay picture with a very similar background of a picture of my partner taken when they had a company meeting in boracay with a similar posting date.

By the way, the deleted file on my partner's laptop was created by the guy on Oct 2009, so I assume they have been seeing each other that long.

My first reaction was to give the guy a visit in his workplace today. But I'm scared of what might happen to our relationship. I don't want to spend Valentine's Day hurting so much.

Sometimes, I'm blaming myself for what happened because I left for the US. As I've said before, flings are fine with me, but it seems theirs is deeper.

During dinner last night, I was asking him If I should come back to PH for good and he said its upto me. I'm lost for anything right now and getting emotionally strained, restrained and drained.

Thanks a lot for listening, Lex.

Ronnie

"I Don't Know What to Do"

"My Partner is Cheating on Me" part 2

Let's continue the letter of Ronnie who is having "trust" issues with his long time parter of 15 years:

I have already invested a lot in the relationship both emotionally and financially. 

I want to ask him about it but I don't know what to say. Whenever we get into petty arguments when we do yahoo IM, he usually goes ballistic and often will say "ayoko na" "nakakasawa" "nakakapagod" and I have to back down and say sorry.

Right now we're doing ok. He is his usual self. I don't know if he is acting or what. If he is, he's doing a good job. I'm still 100% into the relationship. My family knows him and his family knows me. I know when I go back to the US next month, he will be with the guy again.

In my mind, I know what to do but I don't know if it is the right thing to do.

RONNIE

*****

At this point, I would have wanted to answer this letter. But another email was sent to me by Ronnie on the more interesting developments of his story. We'll get deeper into the story until the next post.

Lex

Invite for Pictorials



Arjay Carreon in his pictorials for
Laruang Lalake


Lexuality Entertainment is preparing its latest gay flick entitled "Huling Halik". And for our first publicity photo shoot, I am opening our door to only one lucky reader.

So, if you are free this coming Wednesday (Feb 23), and you would like to witness this closed-door photoshoot with four, young sexy actors, email me at lex (at) lexuality (dot) com, and tell me why i should choose you as the special guest for that hot, exclusive afternoon. (oh, there's free food in case you're interested). And, you must present to me an original video (DVD or VCD) of Laruang Lalake to claim your exclusive seat.

So, will you be our special guest?

"My Partner is Cheating on Me"

When your long time partner is showing the signs of cheating, what should one do? This is the complicated situation of Ronnie, who emailed me last month with his story:

Hi lex,

I am a recent fan of yours and i have seen a few of your movies (original DVDs of course) hehe.

But that will be another story on another time.

Right now, I'm confused on what to do. I'm in a committed relationship of about 15 years which is showing some "cracks" that I don't know how to mend but am willing to. He is discreet because of his job and I'm out but not that "obvious."

I am a US permanent resident for about 7 years now and was just "forced" by circumstances to leave a nice job in PH and with my partner and I promising to be strong though apart. I can accept him of having some "side" affairs as long as I'm still the "one" because I know its hard to be apart. Of which, I must say I'm having some in the US but nothing serious.

I'm here in PH for a vacation. Last week I accidentally saw a text message on his iphone and learned that he has another number with a different cell company because the guy was asking permission if he can call him on that "number." When I was cleaning the baggage compartment of the car, I saw a brochure from that cell company. I didn't do anything.

Last weekend I went to my hometown and he dropped me at the airport. The following night I called him and he said he was having dinner in a mall resto and will be home soon. Later I called the home phone and our temp help said he's not home yet and I soon learned he came in later in the evening. My suspicions are getting stronger then.

I arrived yesterday and when he was fast asleep I couldn't resist looking into his cellphone call history. I found out that as soon as he dropped me at the airport there was a series of phone calls from the guy. The next day there was a call from the guy just 15 minutes before I called when he said he was having dinner. And on my day of arrival there were several calls earlier in the day. I also noticed he erased the text messages from this guy only.

(to be continued)

Pirata

It is very rare that i reject comments in my blog. And recently, i just did because these comments were promoting video piracy.

I have been in the industry for more than 10 years and i have witnessed hundreds of filipinos losing jobs due to piracy. In the mid 2000, i even produced a series of concerts educating people on the ill effects of piracy on music and films.

Just remember that when you pay for an original video, you just don't pay me. You also feed the families of the film crew - the light men, set men, drivers and everyone else tasked to carry heavy equipment during a shoot.

scene from the film "Laruang Lalake"

We live on a third world country. So as a writer and a film producer, here's my personal view on piracy. If you can barely make ends meet, i wouldn't mind at all if you buy pirated copies of my film. It is still my pleasure if the material can connect to you and make you at least forget the harsh realities of your daily life.

BUT, if you have a decent source of income, please be decent enough to pay for the materials that you would like to enjoy. Just like you, many people work hard to make a single video. And it is not fair to cheat them. Many families depend on their income.

And to put my words in a more "balahura" fashion:
Ang mga gustong makakita ng titi, matutong magbayad. Dahil ang mga aktor na pinagjajakulan natin. Tao rin yan. Kumakain at bumubuhay ng kani-kanilang mga pamilya. Pabayaan rin naman natin silang kumita.

Brod on Feb 16

 There's a new film coming up. It's called "Brod" and it stars two time best actor winner Kenjie Garcia (Ang Lihim ni Antonio), Ardie Bascara (Santuario) and the gifted, Xeno. It will be shown on Feb 16 at gay friendly cinemas - Robinsons Galleria, Remar, Roben, Isetann and Cebu. It is helmed by Ray Defante Gibraltar.

 

Confessions of a Cab Driver

I took a cab from abs-cbn to my place in ortigas. It was a red colored cab named "padrino". I sat at the back of the driver hoping for some quiet time after my taping. But the driver still initiated a conversation. He started off with how expensive the gas price is nowadays and how dangerous the lpg engine is to the health of the driver. Then he began to ask me a question:


Driver: may asawa na po kayo sir?

Lex: wala pa. Hindi pa naman kinakasal ang mga bakla sa pilipinas.

Driver: a ganoon po ba kayo? Hindi ko po nahalata. Buti pa kayo hindi kayo nahihiya umamin. Yung iba kasi nagtatago pa.

Lex: ako naman ang nagpapakain sa sarili ko. Hindi ko kailangan mahiya sa kung ano ang pagkatao ko.

Driver: Alam nyo sir nakatira na ho ako ng bakla.

I started to become curious and from the rear view mirror, i took a glance at the face of the driver. TrUe enough, the driver was good looking. He had a symmetrical face with a lean body. And he continued to recall his story.

Driver: naging pasahero ko siya mula sa ortigas. Tapos niyaya niya ako mag inuman. Binayaran niya yung metro habang umiinom kami. gwapo yung bakla maganda yung katawan...

At this point i was really tempted to get the number of this alleged gay man, but i let the driver proceed withthe story.

Driver: tapos tinanong nya ako kung okay lang ba kung mag motel kami. Okay naman sa akin. Babayaran niya yung boundary ko e. Grabe siya. Ang galing niya magpigil. Siya naka tatlong putok tapos ako pinipigilan nya pag malapit na akong labasan...

Unfortunately, i was already in front of my building even before he finished his story. As i was about to get off, he quickly made an offer.

Driver: kayo sir? Gusto niyo?

Lex: hindi ako pwede. Magagalit ang boyfriend ko.

I decided not to get my change.

Lex: sige. Humayo ka at magpaligaya ka pa ng maraming bading!

For Billy

Part 3 of QC Police Victimize Gay Men (Again!)

Dear Billy,


Thanks for sharing. What the police men did to you is horrible and infuriating. Before i share my input, allow me to quote two of my wisest friends from this blog.

Here's one from david:

"picking up street hustlers is risky in any country. they are a health risk as well as a safety risk. and since you reside in an area where police bribes and shakedowns are a reality, you need to use a little common sense.

if you choose to pay for sex, and that's okay, you should use a reputable escort service or a massage parlor with a trusted mama-san. it might cost a little more so using them might mean fewer and far between but the extra cost far outweighs the risks of being the victim of a shakedown or even worse."

And another one from "line of flight":

"the only way that this kind of thing is going to stop, is if people get over their internal homophobia and irrational shame about who they are and report these things to the proper authorities, ombudsman, CHR, etc.,. otherwise, the victim is complicit in his own victimization"

Now, here's my take on your experience. If i found myself in this situation, the police men can never threaten me of media exposure. The whole world knows how gay i am so there is no story for their "media cohorts" to feast on.

Second they cannot accuse me of hiring a prostitute. How can they prove that i have paid money for a service that has never been delivered?

The only way to stop these abuses is for victims to come out and file cases against these police men just like what a few college girls did last year which caused the suspension of several QC police men.

Lex

Laruang Lalake Out on DVD

I was surprised to see the DVD of Laruang Lalake at Astrovision yesterday. The new DVD cover was designed by actor Mark Fabillar and has a quote from reviewer and Palanca awardee Ian Cosocot Rosales. For all the fans of Joselito Altarejos, this is a must for your collection.

This is the first film of Lexuality entertainment. More films from new writers and directors are coming your way. 

I beg you, please buy original!

Meet RJ Reyes

Meet RJ Reyes. He was a former waiter from a bar in Malate. And now, he has acting credits under his belt (by his crotch, perhaps?). He is one of the lead actors of the film "Subok" which is currently shown at Robinsons Galleria and on Feb 9 at Isettan recto.

The Trap

Part 2 of QC Police Against Gay Men

Let's continue the account of this unfortunate incident on of our readers, Billy:

I already knew that this was an entrapment operation because of so many inconsistencies and it corroborated with your stories.

These are some things i found farce: no call boy would go all the way for 300 and i dont know of a motel for 150; The call boys upon seeing the mobile, already acted funny by trying to panic. The police asked for an id with contact numbers of our relatives and wanted to call them immediately; The police said that they would arrest the 2 guys, but we did not see them place hand cuffs; the mobile did not follow us anymore when we withdrew money from the bank; the cops knew exactly the directions where to negotiate with us discreetly and they knew the nearest bank; after getting the money, the police just went down our car and hailed a cab since the mobile already left him.

In any case, the whole operation was well crafted, but it lacked the believable aspect. The chief police was a good actor but the accomplice needs to be more believable. Deep down i knew this was an entrapment since the time they hailed us, but i lost my focus that's why i gave into paying them off. Honestly, i prefer to be held up by thieves because at least they will not be able to steal anything from me at that time. What rattles me is that their seems to be no difference between a thief and these cops.

If you were in my position, what would you have done?

Kind Regards,

Billy