Thursday, February 24, 2011
Lost & Drained
Here's the final installment of Ronnie's letter:
Some updates on my situation. (I hope I'm not imposing on you too much)
Since I already know the first name of the guy, I tried to do a file search on my partner's laptop last night (he lent me his laptop for me to use) and naturally nothing came up. But when I tried the "deep search" using the first name, I got deleted file names with the guy's last name attached. I then googled the full name and came up with the "linkedin" profile of the guy complete with the name of the company he works for. It also gave me a link to the guy"s friendster account (he has no FB and myspace, my partner has a searchable FB and MS account).
The guy is 27 yrs old (much younger than I am and like a son to my partner). I clicked on his friends list and I saw my partner's friendster account (my partner has the guy as the only friend and his friendster acct is not searchable, no wonder). I further clicked on the guy's photos (only the public one, he has 1 private album) and saw a boracay picture with a very similar background of a picture of my partner taken when they had a company meeting in boracay with a similar posting date.
By the way, the deleted file on my partner's laptop was created by the guy on Oct 2009, so I assume they have been seeing each other that long.
My first reaction was to give the guy a visit in his workplace today. But I'm scared of what might happen to our relationship. I don't want to spend Valentine's Day hurting so much.
Sometimes, I'm blaming myself for what happened because I left for the US. As I've said before, flings are fine with me, but it seems theirs is deeper.
During dinner last night, I was asking him If I should come back to PH for good and he said its upto me. I'm lost for anything right now and getting emotionally strained, restrained and drained.
Thanks a lot for listening, Lex.
Labels: Letters to Lexuality