Thursday, February 24, 2011

Lost & Drained

My Partner is Cheating on Me (Part 3)

Here's the final installment of Ronnie's letter:

Some updates on my situation. (I hope I'm not imposing on you too much)

Since I already know the first name of the guy, I tried to do a file search on my partner's laptop last night (he lent me his laptop for me to use) and naturally nothing came up. But when I tried the "deep search" using the first name, I got deleted file names with the guy's last name attached. I then googled the full name and came up with the "linkedin" profile of the guy complete with the name of the company he works for. It also gave me a link to the guy"s friendster account (he has no FB and myspace, my partner has a searchable FB and MS account).

The guy is 27 yrs old (much younger than I am and like a son to my partner). I clicked on his friends list and I saw my partner's friendster account (my partner has the guy as the only friend and his friendster acct is not searchable, no wonder). I further clicked on the guy's photos (only the public one, he has 1 private album) and saw a boracay picture with a very similar background of a picture of my partner taken when they had a company meeting in boracay with a similar posting date.

By the way, the deleted file on my partner's laptop was created by the guy on Oct 2009, so I assume they have been seeing each other that long.

My first reaction was to give the guy a visit in his workplace today. But I'm scared of what might happen to our relationship. I don't want to spend Valentine's Day hurting so much.

Sometimes, I'm blaming myself for what happened because I left for the US. As I've said before, flings are fine with me, but it seems theirs is deeper.

During dinner last night, I was asking him If I should come back to PH for good and he said its upto me. I'm lost for anything right now and getting emotionally strained, restrained and drained.

Thanks a lot for listening, Lex.

Ronnie

8 comments:

ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ said...

"cut and cut clean" - US Sen. Paul Laxalt

noli said...

Okay.. Now that you made your homework to do research... Puwede pa cguro pag usapan yan.. That young boy, "performs well".. Of course with investment of your partner.. Try to compromise.. Mahirap ang long distance relationship.. Especially kung ang gusto ng partner mo is nandyan ka anytime he needs you.. Syempre US and PH, iba talaga.. Choice no. 1 stay here in the PH or bring him sa US.. 2. work it out para ma preserved mo pa and relationship.. 3. last option, forget him and move on.. Good luck!.. I know how are it is.. Okay lang na mag cheat tayo.. pero sobrang sakit kung pinagtataksilan tayo.. yun yun eh!..

david m. said...

ronnie,

you already know where things stand. of course you don't want it to be that way but sadly, things did not turn out as expected.

the sooner you stop playing private i, the sooner you can begin the healing process.

STOP searching his laptop, email, social networks, etc. and DO NOT make any attempt to contact the other guy.

every time you think about this, force your brain to change the subject. with practice, it will become much easier.

also, don't waste your time placing blame on your partner, his new beau or yourself. it serves no purpose other than to prolong the emotional pain you are going through.

finally, do not relocate to PH unless it is to your LONG TERM financial advantage.

let him have his little 27 year old. it won't last but by that time you will have moved on to greener pastures.

hang in there and keep yourself busy with productive things, your job, your health, hobbies, sex, spiritual needs, etc.

take care and much good luck!

Anonymous said...

Let go and move on. You are wasting your time and love on someone who does't really care for you anymore. It will hurt like hell but it is beyond your control. Don't get to that point where you will look pathetic in his eyes. Save some love for yourself.

Anonymous said...

ALL I CAN SAY,,THATS LIFE!1
KAHIT NAMAN SA BOY AND GIRL NA RELASYON MAY CHEATING O KALIWAAN DIBA,,,SA MGA GAYS PA KAYA,,


MOVING ON NALANG YAN,,E NAGANAP NA E,,ALANGAN NAMANG MAGMUKMOK KA JAN,,FACE IT AT GANUN E,,DI SYA SINCERE AT DI NYA KAYANG MAG COMMIT UP TO THE END,.,WEAK PALA SYA,,,WEAKER!SO,,,THATS IT


lalo na siguro sa relasyon ng gay sa tunay na guy,,diba,,hehehe,,lalong mahirap,,,

NEW LIFE AND NEW U,,yun lang,,

Anonymous said...

remember ronnie that you are the owner of your heart and no one can control it but you.

mahirap turuan ang puso, oo, pero with persistence and consistency you will soon be able to do so.

you will have to face him with all your questions sooner so don't prolong it. be strong for yourself.

Anonymous said...

love is the backbone of a relationship, the stronger the love the stronger the backbone, with that strength comes the ability to overcome anything

Anonymous said...

men

dont waste your time sa mga walang pag papahalaga syo.. sabi nga wag mong itali ang sarili mo sa taong hindi ka siguradong mahal ka at importante ka sa kanya

sadyang may mga taong magaling mag kunwari at mag paikot ,,, kasama ang pekeng effort...

wag kang mag mahal ng lalaking mas makati pa sa gabe..

maraming fish dyan n pwede mong mahalin.. wag ang mas gayfull pa syo...