Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Sex Eye Ball part 2

Part 2

Yilmaz Bektas, the look-alike
of our visitor
A soft knock on my door soon followed. With one eye, I looked through the peep hole and there I saw the beautiful face that resembled the man in the picture. After a long exhalation, I opened the door to see a good looking man trapped in a body length that was just a few inches taller than the famous midget, Mahal. (to my recollection, I think he was below 5 foot tall).


A huge disappointment filled my pad as the foreigner stepped inside. Visions of Ylmaz Bektas soon disappeared.

A few pleasantries were exchanged with how-long-have-you-been-here-in-manila kind of conversation. The small talk ended. And we were confronted with the problem of how to dispose of this guy without losing Filipino hospitality.

In Tagalog, the celebrity and I conversed.

“Papauwiin ko na ito”, I declared.

“Ang samo mo naman. Kawawa naman yung tao. Ako na lang makikipag-sex sa kanya. Imagine-in ko na lang matangkad siya”, the celebrity offered.

I checked the profile again of our visitor. I saw the height. And it stated “5’9” – a clear deception.

The famouse midget Mahal
“Huwag kang maawa. Sinungaling sya. Nanloko siya sa profile niya. Hence, he deserves to be rejected!”, I said.

“Paano mo papaalisin? Baka magwala!”, the celebrity asked.

“Akong bahala. Pag umalma, malalaman niyang dati akong kickboxer!”.


I got back to our visitor whose eyes were looking forward to fuck one of us.

“So, shall we start?”, the foreigner asked.

“Do you mean sex? Oh no, that’s not possible! Today is Good Friday. We Filipinos, we cannot have sex during Good Friday or we burn in hell forever”, I said.

“Oh, but I thought…”, the foreigner protested.

“We only wanted to make friends. But sex is a no-no. Not possible today. In fact, we are about to pray in a while. Do you want to join us?”

The foreigner left my pad peacefully. Now, here’s a case where religion really saved my ass!

8 comments:

ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ said...

rotflmao!

Anonymous said...

natawa naman ako dun sa ginamit yung pang escape...o di ba, sabi ko naman, when you are in desperate situations, god will always be there to pull you out.

on another note, i am sure, lex, 99% of your readers were amused with your story but at the same time disappointed because it did not end with how we were all expecting it to be. hahaha!

astrodeus said...

yeah, he deserved it... but it's funny... xD

Anonymous said...

One word. DISCRIMINATION

Anonymous said...

omg lex, theres a guy that sent a message to me on facebook, hes from Dubai but looks just like Ylmaz Bektas, he said to me that he wants me to meet him when he comes to the Philippines, now I'm having second thoughts when I read your story.... Do you think its alright if I tell him to stand over a chair or lean against the wall just to be sure of his height??? Or is it to akward if I tell him that??? His is Wale Ali Wale if you guys want you can search him.... Thanks comments are much appreciated....

Anonymous said...

He lied on his physical profile so dont feel guilty about what you did. If i were in your situation during that time i would certainly do the same thing. Lesson leaned? Huwag basta-basta maniniwala sa mga info lalau na pag galing sa mga blogs or social networking via internet. Marami ang ganyan lalo na sa FB or Friendster. Iba talaga pag na-meet mo in person.

Anonymous said...

i dont want to sound righteous.
but, using religion for an alibi to reject a person is the same as using God's name.

Anonymous said...

Sino ka para gamitin ang relihiyon sa walang kwenta at masamang bagay?

Kasalanan na nga ang pumatol sa kapwa lalake tapos gagamitin mo pa ang relihiyon.

Think first before you post Lex.