Saturday, June 6, 2009
MSM: Gay Men vs. MSM
Many people are too impatient to recognize the difference between sexual identity and sexual behavior. The following outlines the difference between gay men and SMSM (Straight Men who have Sex with other Men).
Here's the continuation of our MSM Series from glbtq.com:
"A gay man's sexual orientation is characterized by lasting aesthetic attraction to, romantic love of, and sexual attraction almost exclusively towards those of the same gender. A gay man's sexual thoughts, fantasies, and behavior are aligned. His identity is based on affectional, emotional, spiritual, psychological, and sexual feelings directed exclusively or mostly toward men."
"While some gay men can include and enjoy women as part of their sexual fantasies and behaviors (for instance, being sexual with a woman while with another man or experimenting by having sex with a woman), the gay man is mostly if not totally attracted to men."
"In contrast, SMSM might fantasize about men, but their primary sexual and romantic attractions are toward women. They are heterosexual men who for a variety of reasons engage in sexual behavior with other men. They are not gay, nor are they bisexual, though their sexual behavior includes sex with other men. The key point is that they do not self-identify or see themselves as gay or bisexual."
"In understanding SMSM, a significant distinction is that between sexual preference and sexual identity. Sexual preferences are about various desires, positions, and fantasies one might have, whereas sexual identity is about how one self-identifies in terms of straight, gay, or bisexual."
"A straight man's sexual behavior with men may reflect a need for quick sexual release or a desire to experiment or an addiction or a complex reaction to past sexual abuse. This behavior sometimes expresses problems and conflicts with their sexual feelings and desires, but it is not an expression of a gay identity."
For the complete article, visit: http://www.glbtq.com/social-sciences/straight_men_who.html