On Enjoying Sex and the Catholic Church

I always wondered why the Catholic Church insists that sex must only be done for procreation. And why do they frown upon when people enjoy their sexuality?

Is this because sexual pleasure is too overwhelming that it could ditract people from the service of the church? Will the enjoyment of sex stop people from seeking god?

Just asking...

Gay Elephant?

Here's a nice post sent by an anonymous Lexuality reader:


Gay Elephant Riles Politician

POLAND - A politician is angry that the city zoo bought an elephant that prefers the company of other males.

"we didn't pay 37 million zlotys for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live here," said Michal Grzes, a conservative council-member in the city of Poznan.

the 10-year old elephant, named Nino, has displayed aggressive behavior toward females, including pushing them into the pool. however his attitude to males has been called "affectionate."

is Nino gay? zookeepers say it's impossible to tell, as elephants don't reach adolescence until about 14.

Was Michael Jackson Gay?

The sexual preference of one of the greatest artists of all time, Michael Jackson has always intrigued me. Blogger lesfriendly.com writes about it.


Was Michael Jackson Gay?
June 26th, 2009
From Lesfriendly.com

Was Michael Jackson, King of pop and dance and greatest performer of all time, in fact gay?

I’m sure most of you know that Michael Jackson got knocked out yesterday, Thursday (June 25, 2009) of cardiac arrest. Suddenly, jokes on Michael Jackson, some of them gay jokes, don’t seem funny anymore and make me feel sick. He was strange and weirdo (some even call him Jacko the Wacko), yes, and many questions were raised whether he was gay or not. But was he? Even a Yahoo answers thread has been put up on Michael Jackson’s gayness and a lot of opinions were being thrown around, and in fact just 10 minutes ago another gay entitled “Was Michael Jackson Gay” was posted on Yahoo answers, with already hundred of replies. We never got a confirmation from him, and in fact we will never know if allegations on his sexual behavior is ever true. A previous state manager sad Michael Jackson was gay, but we never trust credibility specially with shady news like this.

Read the whole entry at http://lesfriendly.com/2009/06/26/was-michael-jackson-gay/

Biyaheng Lupa

There is good news for all lovers of Philippine cinema, the iconic Screenwriter, Armando "Bing" Lao (Cannes Film Festival Winner "Kinatay", "Serbis", "Tuhog") has completed his first directorial debut "Biyaheng Lupa".



"Biyaheng Lupa" (Soliloquy) stars (in alphabetical order) Archie Adamos, Susan Africa, Jose "Peping" Almojuela, Angel Aquino, Mercedes Cabral, Shamaine Centenera, Julio Diaz, Eugene Domingo, Jess Evardone, Carlo Guevara, Isabella de Leon, Jaclyn Jose, Coco Martin, Allan Paule, Andoy Ranay, Mely Soriano

Dose on July 1

Dose" is the story about an unloved 12-year-old boy and a lonely gardener and their friendship that knows no bounds, an affection that knows no limits and a love that knows no age or gender. This daring and disturbing tale of love, lust, and loss of innocence screens on July 1 to 7 at the Robinson Galeria's IndieSine. "Dose" stars three-time Brussels Filmfest Best Actor Yul Servo, 2008 Thessaloniki Filmfest Emilio Garcia, and Golden Screen nominee for Best Breakthrough Performance by an Actor, Fritz Arvhie Chavez.

You can watch the trailer that was x-rated by the censors on youtube.com. Just type "dose cinema one." To date, the teaser and full trailers have reached over 300,000 combined hits. You can also view it at STIR VIDEO Also starring Irma Adlawan, Ray-An Dulay, Arlene Tolibas, and Alessandra de Rossi. Invite your friends, gay or straight. Spread the word.

"Dose" has been invited to the Q!(Queer)Filmfest in Jakarta, Indonesia and the HKG Gay & Lesbian Filmfest.

On Pinoy Gay Films and Big Boy

The author of the blog "The Spy in the Sandwich", Ian Rosales Casocot, an award winning writer writes about our film "Little Boy/ Big Boy" and other insights on Philippine Gay Cinema.

He writes:

Digital Viva's Little Boy, Big Boy is the new film by director Joselito Altarejos, from a script by Lex Bonife -- the creative team that brought us what could easily be described as seminal films in Philippine queer cinema, a roster that includes Ang Lalaki sa Parola, Ang Lihim ni Antonio, and Kambyo.

The new film is a departure from those three films: after the heavy drama of Parola and Antonio and the road trip of Kambyo, what we get in Boy a light drama, with touches of comedy, that tells the story of a young, commitment-phobic gay yuppie (played by Paolo Rivero) suddenly saddled by taking care of a young nephew (played by Renz Valerio) while juggling a new relationship with a younger man (played by Douglas Robinson) whom he meets in an orgy. (That should whet the appetite of many...) But given its sexual situations (requisite, perhaps, for the Digital Viva label) the film is actually sweet and endearing, and features most prominently the strange but amiable dynamics of the relationship between uncle and nephew who -- together with the uncle's new boyfriend -- essentially presents us an idealized and very romantic idea of the possibilities of a new kind of family. This is essentially My Two Dads, Pinoy-style. And in many ways, I am glad for this film, if only because it breaks ground from the cliches of local gay cinema always involving macho dancers, prostitutes, and the like. Rivero's Raymond Fabillar is a non-swishy, unconflicted, self-possessing gay yuppie looking just like the rest of us -- and that's a refreshing face indeed for the queer character in local cinema.

Read the full article at The Spy in the Sandwich

Gay Animals

More and more species have been documented to display homosexual behavior. Here's a report from Telegraph.co.uk

Homosexual Behaviour Widespread in Animals According to New Study
From Louise Gray

Homosexual behaviour is a nearly universal phenomenon in the animal kingdom, according to a new study.

The pairing of same sex couples had previously been observed in more than 1,000 species including penguins, dolphins and primates.

However, in the latest study the authors claim the phenomenon is not only widespread but part of a necessary biological adaptation for the survival of the species.
They found that on the Hawaiian island of Oahu, almost a third of the Laysan albatross population is raised by pairs of two females because of the shortage of males. Through these 'lesbian' unions, Laysan albatross are flourishing. Their existence had been dwindling before the adaptation was noticed.

Other species form same-sex bonds for other reasons, they found. Dolphins have been known engage in same-sex interactions to facilitate group bonding while male-male pairings in locusts killed off the weaker males.

A pair of "gay" penguins recently hatched an egg at a German zoo after being given the egg that had been rejected by its biological parents by keepers.

Writing in Trends in Ecology & Evolution, Dr Nathan Bailey, an evolutionary biologist at California University, said previous studies have failed to consider the evolutionary consequences of homosexuality.

He said same homosexual behaviour was often a product of natural selection to further the survival of the species.

Dr Bailey said: "It's clear same-sex sexual behaviour extends far beyond the well-known examples that dominate both the scientific and popular literature – for example, bonobos, dolphins, penguins and fruit flies.

"Same-sex behaviours – courtship, mounting or parenting – are traits that may have been shaped by natural selection, a basic mechanism of evolution that occurs over successive generations," he said.

"But our review of studies also suggests that these same-sex behaviours might act as selective forces in and of themselves."

Marco's Big Night

The "frontal nudity" king of Philippine Cinema does it again in another sexy flick called "Big Night" directed by Alejandro "Bong" Ramos. The film also stars Jaycee Parker and Jordan Herrera. The following are some screenshots from the movie which is coming very soon.

The Gay Dad

To all the gay/ bisexual and MSM fathers I have made love to, Happy Father's Day! Here's an interesting article from Philippine Daily Inquirer from a daughter who discovered that her most beloved dad is gay:

Outing My Father
by Melody

MANILA, Philippines – My father and I were extremely close. Sometimes, even my high school classmates would express envy at our closeness. I would tell my dad everything, and I was more close to him than my mother.

No one would have guessed that he is gay. He works for an IT company as a consultant for foreign transactions and though it is not as “macho” as say, a position in the military or in an architectural or engineering firm, his work reflects himself—highly organized, quick to respond to changes and find solution to problems.

For prom he drove me to the salon and gave me money to choose a dress. He showed support by trusting my date; he was quite open-minded in my choice of boyfriends. He was never strict; he was like a “kabarkada.” He would even sit down with me and mom watching chick flicks.

But I noticed he was not physically expressive toward my mother. He never held her hand, and his kisses were limited to her cheeks. Perhaps it comes with age, I told myself.

He was a gym buff. After work he would spend probably two hours at the gym, sometimes longer. We would always eat dinner late, because mother insisted on having dinner together all the time. My older brother hated it, because we would have school the next day and we prioritized getting a good night’s sleep. So, poor mother would wait until my dad was home for dinner. He would be normally late: sometimes he would stay overnight at work for “business transactions.”

I discovered his real identity when I used his computer without his knowledge. As soon as I went online using my father’s e-mail account, a “hi baby” popped in instant message. My stomach felt a knot as soon as I saw who he was. The avatar on the instant message was a foreigner. And that foreigner was a man.

I signed off immediately and felt confused. Was he cheating on my mother?

And was this whole guy avatar thing just a mere shady way of masking the true identity of this person trying to ruin my family?

It was a bizarre feeling that while I could tell him everything, I could not dare bring up what I had discovered.

I felt betrayed , hurt and angry. How dare he do this to my mother, the perfect wife!

I can’t remember how it all started, but months before graduation in high school, my mother had a serious talk with me. Since I was moving out for university, she said it was important for me to know something before I leave.

Her voice was firm.

“Your father is different…” she said. “He’s gay. Never lose your love to your father. He is always that way. But I love him nonetheless. I have understood his urges to meet up with men sometimes, but I am fine with that. ”

No amount of words can describe how shocked I was.

That was several years ago. Now, despite my discovery about my father’s sexuality, I maintain my respect for him. Years ago maybe I would have crazily mess my life up. But I see no reason to do so now.

I admire his courage, and his dedication to our family. Now that I have a child of my own, he is every bit a loving “lolo” to my baby. And my love has never changed.

(Melody told this story to 2bU correspondent Cristina P. Agatep)

Big Boy's Sexier Trailer

Here's the sexier version of the trailer of our latest film "Little Boy/ Big Boy" directed by Joselito Altarejos.

The film stars Paolo Rivero, Douglas Robinson and Renz Valerio with script from yours truly.

The film's regular run is on July, 2009

Must Try Virgin

If there is one art event in Manila that will break my heart if I ever miss, that will be The Virgin Lab Fest at CCP. It is a showcase of the freshest and sometimes the most daring plays I have ever seen. I have seen a handful of Broadway productions, but my all time favorite play is a simple one act story I caught in this festival (that will be J. Dennis Teodisio's "Si Geegee at Waterina")

The best and the boldest plays from the Philippines are all here at the Virgin Lab Fest:

The Cultural Center of the Philippines, Tanghalang Pilipino. Inc. and
Writer's Bloc, Inc invite you to the Fifth Year of the Virgin Labfest!

15 unstaged, unpublished, untested one-act plays
4 full-length plays for public reading
and a book launching: Mga Piling Dula ng Virgin Labfest: Ang Unang
Antolohiya 2005-2008.

the plays feature actors from PETA, Tanghalang Pilipino, Dulaang
Gantimpala, etc.

All main entries will be performed at the Tanghalang Huseng Batute
(Studio Theater of the Cultural Center of the Philippines)

*****Schedule of SETS of plays with respective writers/directors* ****

SET A
"School of Life (Mga Dulang Walang Pinag-aralan) "
TUESDAY, JUNE 23: 3pm and 8pm
SATURDAY, JULY 4: 8pm
SUNDAY, JULY 5: 3pm
featuring:
MPC (Mababang Paarlan ng Caniogan) by Job Pagsibigan, performed by the
Sipat Lawin Ensemble
Ang Huling Lektyur ni Misis Reyes by Tim Dacanay, directed by Hazel
Gutierrez
Pandaraya by Oggie Arcenas, directed by Roli Inocencio/ JK Anicoche

SET B
"It's Complicated (The Buhul-Buhol Trilogy)"
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24: 3PM and 8pm
FRIDAY, JULY 3: 8pm
SATURDAY, JULY 4: 3pm
featuring:
Salise by J. Dennis Teodosio, directed by Roobak Valle
Ang Mamanugangin ni Rez by Clariza Estuar, directed by Paolo O'Hara
So Sangibo a Ranon Na Piyatay O Satiman A Tadman by Rogelio Brage,
directed by Riki Benedicto

SET C
"BloodSports (Trilohiyankg Dinuguan)"
THURSDAY, JUNE 25: 3pm and 8pm
FRIDAY, JULY 3: 3pm
SUNDAY: JULY 5: 8pm
featuring:
Kitchen Medea by Kiyokazu Yamamoto, directed by Yoshida Toshihisa
Doc Resurrecion: Gagamutin ang Bayan by Layeta Bucoy, directed by
Tuxqs Rutaquio
Asawa/Kabit written and directed by George de Jesus III

SET D
"The Family That ______s Together (Tatlong Dulang Walang Diyos)"
FRIDAY, JUNE 26: 3pm and 8pm
TUESDAY, JUNE 30: 3pm
THURSDAY, JULY 2: 8pm
featuring:
Boy-Girl ang Gelpren ni Mommy by Sheilfa Alojamiento, directed by
Carlo Garcia
Maliw by Reuel Molina Aguila, directed by Edna Vida
Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White by George Vail Kabristante,
directed by Paul Santiago

SET E
"Life is a Trap (Three Plays in Search of Escape)"
SATURDAY, JUNE 27: 3pm and 8pm
TUESDAY, JUNE 30: 8pm
WEDNESDAY, JULY 1: 3pm
featuring:
Isang Araw sa Peryahan by Nicolas B. Pichay, directed by Chris Millado
Paigan by Liza Magtoto, directed by Sigrid Bernardo
Hate Restaurants by David Finnigan, directed by J. Victor Villareal

SET F
VLF 4 Revisited (Selected Plays from Last year's Virgin Labfest)
SUNDAY, JUNE 28: 3pm and 8pm
WEDNESDAY, JULY 1: 8pm
THURSDAY, JULY 2: 3pm
featuring:
Ang Kalungkutan ng mga Reyna written and directed by Floy Quintos
Ang Bayot, ang Meranao, at ang Habal-Habal sa Isang Nakababagot na
Paghihintay sa Kanto ng Lanao del Norte by Rogelio Braga, directed by
Nick Olanka
Uuwi na Ang Nanay Kong si Darna by Job Pagsibigan from Edgar Samar's
story for children, directed by Cats Racsag

Big Boy Trailer

Here's the trailer of our new film "Little Boy/ Big Boy" directed by Joselito Altarejos:



Coming this July, 2009

72 Gay Filipinos Arrested

72 Filipinos arrested in Saudi for 'gay' behavior
GMANews.TV - Wednesday, June 17

MANILA, Philippines- Wearing drag at a private event may be harmless fun in many societies, but 72 Filipino men found out they could suffer imprisonment and lashing in Saudi Arabia for such activities after they were arrested for immorality recently.

An article in the Arabic news site www.sabq.org said several “deviants," a term used by Saudi Arabia’s English-language media to describe people who engage in gay behavior, were rounded up during a concert inside a compound in an eastern Riyadh neighborhood.

The report quoted unnamed police officials as saying a "large number of foreign workers" were arrested in the incident, and 72 of them have Philippine citizenship.

Vice Consul Roussel Reyes of the Philippine Embassy in Riyadh told GMANews.TV by phone on Tuesday that they are still confirming the identities of the Filipinos and will seek their employers’ help to bail them out.

Open display of homosexual behavior is strictly prohibited under Saudi Arabia’s Sharia’h law. In extreme cases, such as when the unless the government feels that homosexuals are challenging state authority, the maximum punishment for the act is public execution.

Normally, however, other punishments such as fines, imprisonment, and whipping as alternatives. Individuals caught wearing even just one article of women’s clothing could face three to six months imprisonment, and suffer between 50 and 100 lashes with a rattan stick.

Reyes said nearly 50 other Filipinos have been arrested and jailed in the past for similar violations.

Only sponsors are able to bail out foreign workers who are imprisoned, as long as they provide assurance that the accused would show up in court during trial.

In August last year, Saudi Arabia’s Commission for the Propagation of Virtue and Prevention of Vice arrested several Filipinos in a gay party in the country’s eastern province for "lewd behavior" as well as possession of drugs and alcohol. Arrested foreign nationals are often deported after serving their jail sentence. - GMANews.TV

Silahis or Bakla?

I had a very interesting conversation with blogger Mr. Line of Flight about the two opposite ends of the Filipino gay subculture. At one end is the “silahis” (local term for the bisexual or the masculine gay men) side and on the other end is the “bakla” or the transgender side (referring to the effeminate gay men and the cross dressing type). The latter is epitomized by the parlorista, or the typical gay men manning your beauty salon.

These opposing sides have their own sets of values. The “silahis” values masculinity while the “bakla” is a representation of femininity. The “silahis” patronizes relationship with another silahis (two masculine gay men) and the bakla fantasizes and most of the time pays for the sexual services of the “straight man”.

Considering this perspective, I realized that most Filipino gay men will find themselves between these two sides. And the more you are attracted to one side, the more you will repel the other side.

I’m wondering, will it be possible for the silahis or the bakla to dominate the other one in the context of the gay subculture in the next few years?

Dangerous Eyeball

If you like hooking up with strangers for some quick fun, beware! Nowadays, carnappers use this setup as their bait for their unsuspecting dates.

Here's a story from Philippine Star. (Thanks, Line of flight - Lex)

Textmate steals man's car during hotel tryst
By Reinir Padua Updated June 15, 2009 12:00 AM

MANILA, Philippines - A man almost lost a company car he was driving to his “textmate,” who stole his keys while they were in a hotel in Quezon City and drove away while he was in the bathroom, police said Saturday.

Policemen from the Quezon City Police District (QCPD), led by Inspector Angelo Nicolas, found a red Toyota Vios registered to New Market Link Pharmaceutical Corp. abandoned at Teachers Camp in Baguio City three days after it was stolen from Homer (not his real name) last June 6.

Chief Inspector Dario Añasco, head of the QCPD’s anti-carjacking section, said Homer recognized his textmate’s photograph from the police rogues’ gallery.

Añasco said the textmate, who introduced himself to Homer as Mark Marty, was actually Sherwin Martin, arrested a few years ago for allegedly stealing another vehicle “on a whim”.

Añasco warned people to be cautious against those they meet online or through texting. Citing Homer’s account, Añasco said the complainant and the suspect met through a television “chat room.”

“He (Homer) posted his cell phone number there and it was the suspect who sent him a text message,” Añasco said.

He said the two eventually agreed to “eyeball” or meet in person at an apartelle on West Avenue, Quezon City at around 6 a.m. last June 6.

After checking in, Homer went to the bathroom and left behind his cellular phone and car keys. His textmate, however, left the room and and drove off with his car.

Police said Martin was arrested in 2007 after he posed as a buyer of a vehicle and drove off with it during a supposed test drive, then abandoned it at a nearby province. The complainant did not press charges following a settlement with Martin’s family.

“He’s not in it for the money. It’s not like he’s re-selling the vehicle. It’s because in the two cases, the vehicles were eventually abandoned somewhere. It’s like he’s just driving away the vehicles for a joyride,” Añasco said in jest.

He said Homer would file charges of car theft against Martin, who remains at large.

We're Gay But...

We're Gay. And we're diverse. Amen.

Gay Penguins

Whoever said that homosexuality is not normal must watch these two homosexual penguins who have decided to adopt a chick after being together for some time. This report goes to show that homosexual behavior is indeed woven in this nature's fabric of life.

Pinoy Gay Lovers Sensation

It's such a shame to admit that it took someone from Hawaii (Mr. Line of Flight) to tell me the story of Red and Wilmer, the celebrated gay couple contestant in the noontime show Wowowee.

So if you're just like me who has been out of touch with Filipino mainstream TV, here's the news feature on the two lovers.



Clearly, this news item is a step forward to the gay liberation. Thanks Red and Wilmer for coming out. Mabuhay kayo!

Marco's Sexy Flick

Marco Alcaraz, that sexy Bench boy who is a regular on GMA shows has a new sexy digital movie coming up. The title is "Pitik Bulag" where he romances the FHM cover girl for April, Paloma. The film is directed by Gil Portes.

MSM: Is It Wrong for Straight Men to Have Sex with Men?

SMSM - The phenomenon of Straight Having Sex with Men, is there something wrong with this behavior?

This last part of the MSM series from glbtq.com has the answer:

Is SMSM Behavior Pathological?

While some SMSM behavior has pathological roots that need to be understood, straight men having sex with other men need not be pathological or even motivated by pathological reasons. Gay, bisexual, and heterosexual men are drawn to certain sexual behaviors, fantasies, and desires that they usually experience with little psychological trouble.

Moreover, as Kinsey and his associates documented in the 1940s and 1950s, men and women are capable of a much wider range of sexual behavior and fantasies than is usually recognized. Homosexually-identified men and women frequently have heterosexual fantasies and heterosexually-identified men and women frequently have homosexual fantasies.

Whatever drives a man to have sex with another man, as long as he is aware of the consequences of his behavior, has his and his partner's informed consent, harms no one else, and is mindful of his partner's integrity, sexual pleasure is its own justification. Moreover, it may even facilitate self-understanding and broaden one's perspective.

However, leading a life on the "down low" can be risky in a number of ways. The secrecy and shame involved may lead to such psychological fallout as depression and low self-esteem, plus many other dysfunctional behaviors such as chemical dependency, sexual addiction, suicide attempts, affairs, and unprotected sex that may result in STDs, including HIV infection.

A good rule of thumb is that if SMSM behavior prevents the development of deep personal relationships or otherwise adversely affects an individual's self-esteem or sense of himself, or causes emotional distress to loved ones, therapy may be helpful. SMSM who do end up in therapy often learn that it is not their sexual behavior that is the problem but how they feel about it.
Some learn that their sexual behavior expresses non-sexual issues or aspects of themselves that need to be addressed or emotional wounds that need to be healed.

Big Boy Poster Approved

The X Rated Poster



The approved version of the poster


After two x-ratings, the poster of our latest film "Little Boy/ Big Boy" directed by Joselito Altarejos has finally been approved.

Here is what the filmmaker has to share regarding the several revisions MTRCB has demanded on the film poster:

"The MTRCB, our industry's moral compass, has finally approved the 3rd study of the poster for my new film Little Boy Big Boy.

The (first poster layout) studies was not found deem for general patronage as they "depict graphic homosexual love."

I totally agree with them. A half-naked man lying on top of another half-naked man is graphic. These images connote homosexuality. And homosexuality is immoral.

Because it is so hard to explain to minors that there is this thing called homosexuality, and that two people of the same gender can fall in love. Because it is easier to explain to children why people kill and throw fists at each other. And it is far more entertaining to watch the handicapped (read: pilay, bulag, etc. ), aesthetically challenged (read: bungal, kalbo, etc.) and the racially different (read: negro, bombay, etc.) made fun of on national television.

Yes, I agree with them. We are living in the dark ages. Homosexuality has not been invented yet."

On Sponsoring a Varsity Player

I had a nice chat with a dance choreographer and he admitted to me that his dating and sexual relationships generally revolves around "sponsoring" several varsity basketball players.

It caught my interest and i asked about the details of such kind of dating preference. here are some interesting stuff I gathered from him:

* Most basketball players are quite familiar with "gay-men-sponsoring-a-basketball-player" relationship. In fact, many of them do welcome such affairs.

* Varsity players are usually scholars hence, they don't pay for their tuition fees and they even get free athletic stuff from their school. Unfortunately, their basketball shoes do get worn out every two months due to their rigorous practice. Hence, a helping gay man is always welcome to provide them with new athletic footwear.

*In his experience, most of his boys would ask for new gagdets such as the latest model of mobile phones and media players.

*It is a fact that the money he gives to the boys end up as "dating fund" for the girlfriends of the boys. My informant does not mind though. For him, he is happy with the fact that he has "tasted" his man way before his girlfriend enjoys him.

* As my informant claims, most of his varsity boys are definitely more gifted than the average Filipino sex organ.

MSM: Gay Men vs. MSM

Many people are too impatient to recognize the difference between sexual identity and sexual behavior. The following outlines the difference between gay men and SMSM (Straight Men who have Sex with other Men).

Here's the continuation of our MSM Series from glbtq.com:


"A gay man's sexual orientation is characterized by lasting aesthetic attraction to, romantic love of, and sexual attraction almost exclusively towards those of the same gender. A gay man's sexual thoughts, fantasies, and behavior are aligned. His identity is based on affectional, emotional, spiritual, psychological, and sexual feelings directed exclusively or mostly toward men."

"While some gay men can include and enjoy women as part of their sexual fantasies and behaviors (for instance, being sexual with a woman while with another man or experimenting by having sex with a woman), the gay man is mostly if not totally attracted to men."

"In contrast, SMSM might fantasize about men, but their primary sexual and romantic attractions are toward women. They are heterosexual men who for a variety of reasons engage in sexual behavior with other men. They are not gay, nor are they bisexual, though their sexual behavior includes sex with other men. The key point is that they do not self-identify or see themselves as gay or bisexual."

"In understanding SMSM, a significant distinction is that between sexual preference and sexual identity. Sexual preferences are about various desires, positions, and fantasies one might have, whereas sexual identity is about how one self-identifies in terms of straight, gay, or bisexual."

"A straight man's sexual behavior with men may reflect a need for quick sexual release or a desire to experiment or an addiction or a complex reaction to past sexual abuse. This behavior sometimes expresses problems and conflicts with their sexual feelings and desires, but it is not an expression of a gay identity."


For the complete article, visit: http://www.glbtq.com/social-sciences/straight_men_who.html

From Closeted Anonymous

Here's a message from a "closeted" first time Lexuality reader:

Hi there!

It's my first time to visit this blog site, and due to the nature of my environment (situation) as a "closeted gay," I hardly do get a chance to read something as "decent" as yours.

Apologies for the terms used above however I really do appreciate all the interesting and well written thoughts you have.

I have never tried going to a gay bar so I don't have the right to comment however, don't you think that whatever type of joy we experience in either getting a massage or going to a strip club, nothing beats genuine care/love for somebody?

I know I sound lost so I'll just go back to my first agendum here, to commend you and just forget about all the things that I said.

from "closeted" anonymous

-------------------------------------

Hi "Closeted" Anonymous,

Thanks for visiting Lexuality and thank you for calling me "decent". Most people would rarely describe me as such.

It is true that an intimate relationship is certainly rewarding.

But in a gay man's lifestyle, it' hard to take out promiscuity from the equation. Blame evolution for that.

I hope in the near future, you could start coming out. Life is much better when you know that the people around you are comfortable with your sexuality.

Good Luck!

Lex

Beware of QC Rent Boys

image of Quezon City Memorial Circle

Two of my friends have become victims of Rent Boys (kolboys) lurking outside the Quezon City Memorial Circle who have police friends who routinely intimidate gay clients to cough up extorsion money from pitifully frightened gay men.

I'm publishing an email from cutieboy2020@yahoo.com which I have picked up from a yahoo group. For your guidance, in the Philippines, Rent Boys are more popularly known as "Call Boys".

This email has been published unedited by the blog author.


QC CIRCLE CB and the POLICE

this is a story of picking up a call boy at QC circle.

i drove around qc circle 2am. i actually just want to see the faces of call boys. when i parked my car on the side, a call boy came to my car. he talk to me that he would give me satisfaction without regrets. he was so kulit so i let him in.

i noticed that he was texting someone and he told me that it was his gf. i did not know any motels around, so he gave me choices either in cubao, visayas or commonwealth. i chose commonwealth and he lead me the way.

we entered the room and had a very short fun.

when we just left the motel, a police patrol car tried to overtake my car. a flashlight was pointed to me while driving and i was signaled to park on the side. i did not know what violation i made. the police talked to me and asked if i had a gun or anything. then, the other police knocked on the right side of the car. he said the the guy beside me was a call boy who was always spotted at circle. the call boy went out of the car and was accompanied by the police.

the 2 police came inside my car and told me that there has been a city ordinance that outlaws picking up of call boys. they told me that they would bring me to a police station for charges. they also told me that the police record will be permanent. since i do not want to have a police record, i offered them P3,000 but they wanted P5,000, so I gave this amount to them and allowed me to go.

when i was on my way home, i realized that the call boy might actually be associated with the police. everything might have been planned and scripted between the call boy and the police. the call boy might have been texting with the police all along, that's why when we went out of the motel, my car was immediately spotted. there was no reason for the police to point the flashlight to my car. i was just driving straight and there was no unusual in my driving.

fuck those police! they may go to hell.
---------------------------------------------------

Here are some safety tips from lobster_ph@yahoo.com on what to do just in case this happens to you:

(1) Ask, respectfully, for the name of the policeman. Get his badge number.
(2) Ask what particular ordinance you violated.
(3) DO NOT get out of the car without locking all the doors.*
(4) DO NOT open the trunk unless you open it yourself (if possible use your camera phone to videotape you opening the trunk)*
(5) It might be best to just allow yourself to be brought to the police station because again they will be forced to let you go as there is NO ordinance nor did you break any law.
(6) DO NOT be intimidated by these guys.


image from: http://inlinethumb38.webshots.com/39909/2308949820101994864S600x600Q85.jpg

email from: puri_titiwang_presents yahoo group

Sexy Bong

Here's a very sexy photo of our new moral guardian Senator Bong Revilla, Jr. This erotic photo features him and Assunta de Rossi in the film "Ang Kilabot at Kembot". Senator Bong has been one of my ultimate fantasies in showbiz. And for me, he will always be sexier than Hayden Kho, Jr, the country's current sex villain.

With this hot photo, I think the senator is better on movies than on politics.

On Morality

Everyone is going gaga over morality nowadays in the midst of the sex scandal issue of Dr. Hayden Kho.

Allow me to share my opinion on the grandstanding of vice-president-wannabe Sen. Bong Revilla, former-police-and-planning-to-be-a-mayor-again Mr. Afuang and other "moral" key players on this sex scandal issue.

Morality is a complex philosophical exercise which is better enjoyed than imposed to other people.

After all, who among us have been completely morally upright from our day of birth?

Gay Movie Titles

I received a text message with a list of interesting suggestions for gay movie titles. (Sorry for the non-Filipino speaking readers of this blog, I just can't translate these humorous lines in English)

* Wag Kang Kikibo, Ako Ang Susubo (A spin off of the Priscilla Almeda movie "Huwag kang Kikibo, Diyos ang Hihipo)

* Bukas Luluhod ang Mga Bakla (from the Sharon Cuneta classic "Bukas Luluhod ang Mga Tala")

* Totoy Mola Vs. Ben Tuwad

* Ikasa Mo, Dadapa Ako

* Sa Yo Ang Tahong, Aking ang Talong

And My Favorite...

* Sagad Hanggang Toncil