Friday, November 20, 2009
Pursue the Guy?
This is an advice article from Philippine Daily Inquirer about a 27 year old closet gay man who is secretly attracted to his office mate. Columnist Emily Marcelo writes a beautiful advice to all gay men like this letter sender:
I’m 27 years old and I work in the admin department of a call center.
I’m also a closet gay though some officemates know about it. Recently, a guy joined us in the company. He’s also 27 years old, and he’s also discreetly gay like me. With his looks and attitude, I immediately became attracted to him. He’s very nice, amiable and intelligent.
Although we don’t get to talk much, my interest in him grew. I learned that he already has a boyfriend who’s a lawyer in Cebu and this worried me. I want to establish a relationship with him because he fits the qualities I am looking for in a guy. But I don’t want to appear as if I’m stealing boyfriends. Should I pursue the friendship track? How can I make him think that I’m worthy to be a potential partner of his?
DUDE IN LIMBO
Why not first make friends with this guy and see where your emotions go?
He may look handsome, nice, amiable and intelligent, but he may turn out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. That can leave you cold on your tracks not to mention disappointed and be turned off in the long run. Just because the wrapping looks nice doesn’t mean what’s inside is great as well.
And just because you’re in the closet doesn’t mean your peers are dense enough not to see what you really are. What’s wrong with being gay?
Everyone is the same under the skin, so you don’t have to stress yourself and hide under any guise. That will only make you unhappy, guilt-ridden and even be the object of sneers. Be yourself no matter what others think.
You don’t owe anything to anybody. You are not making any of their lives awful—except yours. The world is already full of fakery. Try not to be part of it.
Go befriend this guy. But before baring your soul to him, show him the kind of person you really are. He might like you well enough to be part of his life later on... enough to fall in love with you as well.
Labels: gay life