Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Love for Money

Society criticizes many gay men whose relationship with other men are grounded on financial support. But of course, such setup was not invented by the gay men.

Take for example this controversial wife beating case of former Ilocos Sur governor Chavit Singson. According to reports from the Philippine Daily Inquirer, the wife, Che Tiongson, has been sending love letters attached with liquidations of financial expenses.

Here's the report from the Inquirer:

Tiongson’s letters, copies of which were provided by Singson’s staff to the Inquirer and to other media, oozed with sweetness and were punctuated with smiley faces and “mmmuahs.”

It contained a breakdown of her expenses which she had asked Singson to pay, along with a promise to tighten her belt in the future.

Singson said it was not true, as Tiongson had claimed, that he wanted her to be financially dependent on him.

“She wasted millions already. I gave her money to put up a restaurant, a pawnshop, a spa—but they all closed down because she was wasteful with money,” he said in Filipino.

Relationships are grounded on economic needs whether you're straight or your gay. But as blogger "line of flight" once told me, love is questionnable when power is in the center of a relationship.


nj said...

There are a lot of reasons for entering into a relationship - the most practical is money, I suppose. I take issue on what you (or line of flight) referred to regarding power as a questionable motive - isn't it the most potent reason of all? Consider the dominance of the alpha male and the strong attraction to the alpha male by the females in the animal kingdom. Isn't it about power? Surely the hapless girl was also attracted to the advances of his rich and powerful patron. In almost all cases, this can never be denied.

line of flight said...

there are many reasons for entering into a relationship -- relating being the most basic of all. money is fundamentally a symbol of exchange (relating) so naturally money issues become another symbol of how individuals relate to one another. if the relationship is based upon power and domination, then money issues will likely reflect that. if the relationship is based upon love, then the money issues will likely reflect that.

nj is correct that we are regularly bombarded with images of relationships based upon power and domination, but that is not the only way that individuals do or ought to relate to one another. With respect to a "hapless girl" who comes into orbit of "powerful patron." When there is such an inequality in the relationship that there is no partnership but a power-based relationship, the only power the "hapless" person in the relationship has is indirect -- through manipulation, etc.,. Although this is quite familiar, it is not one based upon love.

Jung's quote on power/love dynamic is: "Where love rules, there is no will to power, and where power predominates, love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other."