Saturday, September 19, 2009

Survive A Breakup



Having undergone a recent breakup with my partner, allow me to share some personal tips on How to Survive a Breakup Without Breaking Down:

1. Get busier. Get yourself loaded with more work and appointments. Don't give yourself time to mourn.

2. When you feel that sudden attack of sadness, say you hear your partner's favorite song, create a deep and forceful exhalation -- pump the diaphragm downwards, make a loud thumping sound and the emotional attack will suddenly subside.

3. Instead of focusing on "why" your partner has done the unthinkable. Accept that your partner is imperfect, and just like everyone else deserves forgiveness from his mistakes.

4. Think. Think. Think. When the mind begins to be too emotional, activate the rational brain by analyzing events that happened. In this way, you can avoid the trap of "Life-is-unfair-sequence-of-thoughts"

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

i have to disagree with the first one... we must let ourselves grieve and mourn for sometime (not for too long)as a catharsis. in the future it will be easier to let go. we cannot suppress this feeling because this will only make us a walking time bomb. i hope you will consider. i feel sorry for the break up but i know you will get through it.

Pipo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
line of flight said...

I still think lots of cuddling and skin-to-skin contact is helpful. Oxytocin is a powerful chemical that need help to help reroute neurons.

Suffern AC said...

5) Reclaim yourself and do some self work. Whenever we are in relationships we have to make trades and some parts of ourselves are given up for the sake of the relationship. It can't be helped as relationships take work, time, and some give (to get the take). Most of these take the form of minor compromises that become habits...your couple habits and rituals. But you need to identify those and be rid of those couple habits and replace them with your own. I wouldn't fill my life with make-busy work as that just avoids your opportunity to make something new of your freedom.

It's your bed now. You can sleep on any part of it. Not just the side that you took while you shared it, often out of habit. It's your bathroom, too. Bedrooms and bathrooms are particularly vulnerable spots for past lovers to hang out like ghosts influencing patterns of behavior long after they have left. I'd take special care to claim those spaces back at least symbolically.