Let me share a priceless piece of wisdom from Lexuality reader, David:
my dear lex,
as hard as it may be, you must forgive your (ex) friend. only when you forgive, can you move on. forgiving doesn't mean forgetting or allowing that person back in to your life. it means closure, even if it isn't the closure that we wanted. to be honest, monogamy is impossible between 2 men when engaged in a long term relationship. it is just not the nature of the beast. however, honesty between 2 men is possible. without it a couple is doomed. stay busy and turn this negative in to a positive.
much good luck!
David
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Thank you David,
Such wisdom is much needed right this moment.
Lex
4 comments:
I don't agree that "monogamy is impossible between 2 men..."
I say break the limbic resonance with your ex so that the projection is withdrawn. Best way to do that is to cuddle with someone else. reroute the oxytocin!
OH NO! not again.
here's a box of Godiva choco covered strawberries and a gallon of Ben & Jerry.
take my Amex gold card and go on vacation anywhere you want my dearie. you deserve it.
come back fresh. and ready to face the world.
MAMA and Fido will be waiting for you.
WE LOVE YOU LEX,
line of flight, i would love to have you as one of my students. indeed, "impossible" was too strong a word. however, once the romance period has worn thin, monogamy is often a struggle. keeping in mind that boys will be boys, i do think that once a relationship is firmly established, boundaries should be set and agree upon. btw, regarding your insightful comment based upon my earlier comments on andrew cunanan: 'the crux of its tragic quality..." i guess it might be that poor andrew finally achieved the celebrity status that he so desperately sought out. also, at the end of the show, he went out with a bang! " :-)
david, i'd love to have you as one of my students. i think one of the differences we've got is that I don't believe that grown men are boys, but the mindset that sees them/us as such is what perpetuates a puerile understanding of life. it is understanding life in this way that makes it difficult for some to fully commit to anything. i agree children have a hard time committing fully to something. but that is what distinguishes children from adults. America and Americanized cultures are very puerile.
I think infidelity that comes from a puerile outlook is also consistent a lack of clear boundaries and difficulties with being honest. However, by just trying to conform behavior without addressing the underlying outlook, will inevitably invite the original evil to return again and again.
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