Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Breakup



It’s official. The “Supreme Court of Relationships” has issued its decision on my one year and three month relationship, I and my former partner, JDG are now separated.

I am again, single.

Many dreams and hopes have also drained away as we have both decided to split up. For more than a month, my partner has displayed all the symptoms of a relationship about to go into comatose – cancelled dates with all kinds of excuses, cold treatment and incapacity to communicate.

And for that whole month, I have gone through the rounds of mourning over my dying relationship – anger (I have always thought of you as a good man), bitterness (I will curse your name until last my breath), rejection (go ahead, break up with me. Several other men just can’t wait to have me in bed!), loss of self esteem (Am I not worth it?) to thankfully, humble acceptance (Okay, I get it, you want to break up with me).

I have learned from yoga philosophy that when something is painful and it is beyond our control – don’t hold on, just let go!

And that’s exactly what I’m doing right now – learning to let go while reminding myself that I am single, stronger and “fucking desirable”!

4 comments:

Unknown said...

this news came as a shock to me. my friend commented that all of your movies have sad endings. i disagreed because kambyo although did not promise a happy ending, it was hopeful and true.
i was thinking the movie mirrors the relationship state you were in.
but like your other movies, it had an ending, and like kambyo, you remained hopeful and true.
take care bro,

LoF said...

change, the nature of existence, meets the confused human, suffering for his inability to perceive that nature. as HH Dalai Lama says, “when you lose, don’t lose the lesson.” from my very limited perspective, it doesn’t sound like your desirability was at issue (in terms of the breakup). it sounded like normal communication and intimacy problems that come as relationships grow.

ChristianArman said...

sorry to hear about what happened, Lex...

it may sound cliche but maybe it's for the best...

just cherish the good times and look forward...

kaya mo yan...

God bless

;p

Anonymous said...

LADIES, take out the caramel popcorn, choc hash ice-cream and belgian truffles. or better still let's all go to the mall for some sushi, meat-lover pizza and double cappuccino. shun the veggie diet, almonds and alfalfa. comfy foods rules!...OUR NEXT LIFE has just begun.