Tuesday, October 28, 2008

My Own Gay Story



I have been blessed to be committed to a wonderful man, a business executive who has been separated from his wife. And we’ve been happily together for more than a year.

Last weekend, his father died. Coming alone at the wake, it dawned upon me that in the eyes of the world where my partner lives in, I am nobody.

In his difficult moment, someone in me craves to be the person that he could rely on or even just a shoulder he could cry on. But publicly, that’s just not possible.

Our love exists in a society that demands silence and repression of our relationship.

And that’s just sad.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Not only can I identify to your story but I can feel the pain you are having...I myself had a relationship with a married man for 9 years. We have a business which we call our baby. But things didn't end well for us, as personal and professional relationships should never be mixed or one will affect/suffer over the other...I have moved on and after a year of hurting, we became friends again. Now, he was diagnosed with Chronic Renal Disease requiring transplant. As a nurse, I wanted to be there for him. But it's hard where to place myself, with the wife, the kids around to decide for him. I'm nobody. His future is uncertain. I want to do what's best for him but the situation doesn't allow me to... GJ

Anonymous said...

Not only can I identify to your story but I can feel the pain you are having...I myself had a relationship with a married man for 9 years. We have a business which we call our baby. But things didn't end well for us, as personal and professional relationships should never be mixed or one will affect/suffer over the other...I have moved on and after a year of hurting, we became friends again. Now, he was diagnosed with Chronic Renal Disease requiring transplant. As a nurse, I wanted to be there for him. But it's hard where to place myself, with the wife, the kids around to decide for him. I'm nobody. His future is uncertain. I want to do what's best for him but the situation doesn't allow me to... GJ

fred perry said...

that is sad indeed.

Anonymous said...

out of respect to you and your extended family on your grief, i have no comment to say today...

line of flight said...

one thing to think about the situation is how those limits are generative and productive in other ways. is being nobody in his family's eyes liberating in any respect?

consider also that consoling someone does not have to be a public or social matter -- it can be private and intimate. how does the private intimacy that the two of you share affect society in ways that it wouldn't otherwise if you were free to have a socially recognized relationship.