Sunday, November 30, 2008

Refusing Gay Sex



Anthony, a student from UP Cebu doing a thesis on the films I have written "Ang Lihim ni Antonio" (Antonio's Secret) and "Ang Lalake sa Parola" (The Man in the Lighthouse) confronted me with a very sharp question, which I found myself a bit difficult to answer.


He asked me, why is that in both of the films, the main characters had to refuse a particular gay sexual act -- Antonio vehemently refusing anal sex and Mateo refusing to suck the character Jerome's dick -- both incidents led to the climax of the stories.


It made me think. Is it because I believe that appreciating complete gay sex takes time for a gay man? For a gay man, who is just starting to appreciate man-to-man sex, immediately sucking a dick or getting fucked, may not be very easy to achieve. To my experience and to many other people I know, this holds true.


Sexuality is so diverse, that it's difficult to pin down a behavior and proclaim it as true for everyone else. Hence, I know I could be wrong as well.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

isa nga syang tanong na nagbibigay ng malalim na pagsusuri.. it is true indeed that being gay (embracing all there is) is also a process and cannot be in an instant.there is exploration, and it is but normal to react differently once you experience something new. teka, lalo yatang naging vague.hehehe. anyway i saw both films of lex and i would say that i find ang lihim ni antonio more emotionally powerful unlike lalake sa parola which is very metaphorical. i cant say one is better than the other because the way i see it magkaiba ang istilo ng paglalahad ng kuento. basta ang alam ko parehong maganda... kudos mr lex

jhon

line of flight said...

I took the refusal of Antonio in LnA to be one of refusing the binabae-bakla identity (in much the same way Jiro Manio's character in Manay Po 2 refuses both John Pratts' character's binabae-bakla identity and Polo Ravales' character's closeted, silahis-like identity).

I think this is especially true because of the earlier scene in LnA when Jonbert is being paid for sex by the more effeminate bakla earlier (especially the language he uses as he's fucking her) which is a more traditional binabae-bakla social-economic relationship.

It was as if Antonio is telling society (through/to the image of Jonbert) that he has agency and is attempting to refuse the limits imposed upon him -- the limit being if you like sucking cock, then you'll take it up the ass and like it. (LnA is a much better representation of this conflict than Manay Po 2 because in fact, its not as easy as Jiro Manio's character was allowed to have it. There is tremendous suffering in seeking life outside the limits, which is tragic, and not really that funny.

Anonymous said...

THE JOY OF GAY SEX...is an old publication but still relevant. slap Mateo or Antonio with a copy or better still give it as Holiday gifts. too bad there is no Bicolano version.

this question is best answered by the experts a.k.a. sex-perts in the business. them likes of Drs. Phil, Ruth or Joyce Brothers. let's hear it from the pros...ask them! btw MEDICAID pays for it.

Anonymous said...

just an idea...

have you written gay stories among siblings?

I think many gays or bi's had their first sexual encounter with their kuya.

the writer said...

Hi Sir Lex. It's me Anthony. It's been almost two years since I've interviewed you for my thesis. Now I have earned my Bachelor's Degree and works as a college instructor in some university here in Cebu.

Thanks a lot for the big, big help, SIr. And I'm sorry if it took me almost two years to say thank you. In between landing-a-job pressure and finding-that-job-struggle, I unconsciously forgot to do it. FAIL.

Again thank you Sir Lex for the help.

P.S. I got a 1.0 for my thesis. It must have really been something. You're an inspiration. :)